Should You Date Someone Similar To You? 14 Women Reveal How They Feel About It

In an ideal world, what would your soulmate be like? I used to think the term "soulmate" implied that it was one soul in two bodies, meaning the two of you would be very similar. However, I think there's also something to be said about dating someone who's essentially your opposite. My boyfriend is nothing like me, and I think it works in that it gives us a chance to learn from each other and grow. So... should you date someone similar to you or is someone pretty different from you the best way to go? Well, a recent Reddit thread asked ladies what they think about dating someone similar to them, so read along and take notes, my friends.

Dating someone similar to them would be too boring for this person.

Nope, can't do it.
There was a guy who had such similar personality traits as me that I felt super connected and in-sync, but ultimately bored. Not bored of HIM, he was funny and engaging and I loved spending time with him.
But bored like there as no challenge, nothing to learn. We were both struggling with the same things internally and externally, and while that provided a great bond, I felt we couldn't do anything positive for ourselves or each other as a result. We would just stagnate with each other.

/u/Im-Probably-Drinking

Sometimes, it's nice to find a yin to your yang.

I think it works for some but not for me. I need someone more grounded and less emotionally passionate.

/u/jellogoodbye

She thinks it works better for friendships.

I've tried it, and it definitely wasn't bad. It actually makes for a great friendship! But in the end, it just didn't work out. Two really sensitive worry-warts will constantly be bugging out, as we learned (he and I are both astrological Cancers, if you believe in astrology, and we fit the stereotypes). We're both dating really relaxed people now, and they're much better matches for us.

/u/PhinnishPharma

They didn't change each other for the better.

My ex husband and I were very similar. It was great when times were good, but neither of us had what was necessary to create positive change in each other.

/u/vividwonder

She thinks she and her partner would murder each other.

We’d probably murder each other. I’m far too high strung and need to be in control so two people like that would be disastrous. The house would probably be immaculate though.

/u/FrozenFractalsofIce

She thinks an introvert needs to be balanced out by an extroverted partner.

I can't date someone who has the same personality. I need to date someone who enjoys talking because I don't minding listening to people. Most of my really good friends are extroverts.

/u/deezim96

She thinks it would be annoying.

Sounds annoying so that's a no from me.

/u/jesuisunchien

Being too similar could be disastrous to her.

It depends on what is similar. Similar values and sense of humor would be perfect. But identitical anxieties, weaknesses, if what I need support about he needs support about the exact same things were identitical it would be a disaster, probably.

/u/Redhaired103

For her, it would be pure chaos.

I think that would be fun just really chaotic.

/u/futurecrazycatlady

It's better than the alternative for her.

I have dated people very similar to me. Generally that's gone substantially better than dating people with whom I have a lot of really obvious differences.

/u/Daenyx

She thinks it's nice being on the same frequency.

My partner and I are really similar in a lot of ways. I think it's good. I like being on the same frequency as her. The only time it's difficult is when we both have a shared weakness and then we have to figure out how to deal with something that neither of us is really equipped to deal with.

/u/RobotPolarbear

But she thinks it would be nice to have your own separate interests.

I want enough similarity that we have things to talk and bond over, but enough differences that we can have our own things in life to enjoy.

/u/mysecretoutlet

Similar is fine to her, but the same is too much.

Dating myself? No thanks.
Dating someone very similar to me? That's awesome. My husband and I have a lot in common and we really enjoy our relationship together. Conversations flow easily, we are on the same wavelength, and our desires for our life together align very well.

/u/nevertruly

It would be depressing for this person.

Ew no! I'm already sick of me, I would be seriously depressed if I dated someone similar to me.

/u/oree94

At the end of the day, whom you date is up to you. Want to date someone similar to you? Go for it! Prefer someone nothing like you? That's fine, too! The world is your oyster.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!