Although gender may well be a social construct, the societal pressure that gender roles put on romantic relationships is real AF. From "the man should pay the bill" to "the woman should never make the first move," there is no shortage of societal "rules" about how love should work. Of course, you and your boos can do whatever feels right for you. And if you're wondering: "Should women propose to their partners?" — you're not the only one.
From destination ceremonies in the tropics to eloping at town hall, weddings and wedding preparation look different for everyone. Whether your relationship doesn't involve any men, or you're a woman dating a man and you're ready to pop the question, it totally OK for women to make their own choices. When it comes to love, you get to make the rules and you get to do what feels right for your relationship. From fairy tale proposals with costumes involved to a sleepy morning "let's get married" when you're still in your pajamas, engagements take many forms. There is no one way to pop the question, regardless of anyone's gender.
I spoke with seven women about why they proposed to their spouses, and what they said is totally rad.
My now-husband was in and out of the hospital for the years we were dating. I asked his family and nurses to help me plan the perfect proposal in his room one day. It meant a lot to me to do something like that for him.
— Kim, 34
I asked him to marry me on the the first date. It was a joke, but it kept going until I really did it.
— Shauna, 29
We met in our D&D league a few years before we started dating. When we established that we were going to spend our lives together I knew I was going to incorporate the proposal into the game. I made sure to be the DM [dungeon master] and made a whole world that revolved around me eventually proposing.
— Lara, 24
Honestly, if I left it up to him he would have messed it up anyway. Taking matters into my own hands was really cool and I got to do it the way I envisioned.
— Frances, 32
Well, there's just not a man in our relationship so one of us had to do it. She kind of told me I had to but it was really cute. I asked after work when we were drinking wine in the backyard.
— Rae, 27
On our first date he told me to tell him when I was heading to the restaurant so we could get there at the same time. I was so nervous I wanted to get there before him so I could take a shot (LOL) and settle into the space. When I told him it became a joke within our relationship to see who could beat each other to do things or getting places before each other. When I found that he had got a ring, I knew I needed to do it first to beat him to it.
— Sylvie, 24
Engagement doesn't need to be something big. I just kind of asked one day when we were making dinner.
— Rachel, 26
From asking on a first date to popping the question during a game of Dungeons & Dragons, there's no one way to propose. If you're a woman thinking of popping the question, don't be intimidated by switching it up. Asking someone to marry you is a beautiful step in your relationship. Say "I do" to love, not to traditional gender roles.
