To say you had a crush would be an understatement, TBH. You totally missed History of Jazz lectures because you were distracted by their perfectly disheveled hair. You stole a glance across the dining hall and nearly fell right over. You borrowed their pencil once during an exam and it was honestly the highlight of your week. Ultimately, you never quite got up the courage to ask that cutie out, but fret not — this weekend presents the perfect opportunity to talk to your college crush at homecoming.
Without a doubt, homecoming is one of the most anticipated events for college graduates. The alumni spirit and pride are intoxicating, and the reunions with friends in familiar places bring on a hefty wave of nostalgia, and the IG post possibilities are endless. Better yet, homecoming means you have a second chance at talking to that crush you were too shy to hit on. After all, you may want to secure a date, and who better than the person you fantasized about semester after semester?
“Life is not a dress rehearsal,” Fran Greene, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily. “Since you may never get another opportunity to let your crush know that you really liked them when you were in school together, this is the time to do it!”
Sometimes, all it takes is a little life experience out in the working world to gain a little more self-confidence — which is precisely what you may need to pursue that cutie you've had your eye on. There’s nothing worse than wondering “what if?” So, consider homecoming your chance to finally find out whether you and that college crush have #powercouple potential.
You have nothing to lose.
Making a move on your crush probably felt risky in college. If you went for it and your feelings weren’t reciprocated, you’d have to deal with the uncomfortable run-ins after class and at parties (#awk, to say the least). That may have been precisely why you hesitated on asking them out. It’s also why homecoming is the ideal time to finally follow through. Think of it this way: If your crush turns you down, the odds of you running into them again are probably slim.
“The worst that can happen is that your crush has moved on,” says Greene, “And who knows? They might even know the ‘perfect’ person for you.”
The bottom line is this: You really have nothing to lose now that college is over.
It could be mutual.
The best case scenario, of course, is that your crush feels the same way. For all you know, they were pining after you all through college but just as nervous or shy as you were to do anything about it. If that’s the case, you’ll be glad you were brave enough to be the one to make the move.
“Your crush may be so ecstatic that you made the first move because you have always been on their mind!” says Greene. “The only thing you can regret is doing nothing.”
The point is, you’ll never know if the feelings are mutual if you don’t ask that cutie out. It’s quite possible that they’ll be super relieved you did. This is a case in which the reward far outweighs the risk.
You're in your comfort zone.
It’s a lot easier to make a risky move when you’re in a comfortable setting. Since homecoming occurs at a place where you spent several years, you’re likely to feel more able to let your guard down and loosen up.
“The vibe is upbeat and you are in familiar territory, which can ease your nerves,” explains Greene.
Keep in mind that it’s familiar territory for your crush, too — which gives you something in common, and thus, plenty of things to talk about.
“There are so many opportunities to talk about what’s happening in the moment,” says Greene, “Such as when you were students and life after graduation, favorite hotspots, funny stories, all-nighters, best/worst classes, Greek life, jobs, student loans/money, apartments, friends in common, etc.”
So don’t be afraid to take advantage of the comfort that comes with being back in your old stomping grounds and break out of your comfort zone.
You have a lot going for you.
There’s no doubt that a lot has happened in your life since leaving school. Maybe you’ve embarked on a new career, moved to a new city, picked up a new hobby, or discovered a new talent. You’ve grown, matured, learned a thing or two, and likely even amassed some personal accomplishments worth talking about. So you can feel more self-assured than ever approaching your crush.
“Graduating from college, getting your first job or being in grad school gives you a whole new perspective,” says Greene. “Perhaps your confidence has soared and you now know more about what you want in a relationship. Now is the time to test the waters with your crush. You both have lives outside of the college campus.”
Your crush may even have some impressive post-college news to relay as well, so why spark up the conversation with them again by asking what they’ve been up to? Most importantly, you can definitely hold your head up high making that first move because let’s face it — you have a lot going for you.
Making the first move can be intimidating for sure, but it’s also super liberating and empowering. (I should know, my current relationship may very well not have existed if I wasn’t a little uncharacteristically aggressive). You may not have felt fearless enough during college to ask that cutie on a date let alone strike up a conversation with them, but homecoming offers the perfect second chance to finally go after what you want.
“Only you can take control of your social/love life,” adds Greene. “Don’t miss out on what could be the love of your life.”
If you’re not sure how to go about making your move, there are several approaches you can take. Already have their number? Then get the conversation going before homecoming happens — that way, you can start building momentum and hopefully, snag a date. If you don’t, you can invite them to a party or another group outing, or ask if they need a ride to a homecoming event — this will inevitably force you to exchange numbers. Once you have their contact info, it’s time to let the long-awaited flirting begin. Better late than never, right?
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!