Should I Add My Tinder Match On Snapchat? 4 Reasons It Actually Isn't A Good Idea
The intersection of social media and dating is a tricky one — not exactly something my parents or grandparents had to deal with. But I constantly find myself wondering when my crush is gonna lurk on me online? And does he know I am refreshing his IG constantly? When it comes to dating apps and social media, you might be asking yourself if you should add your Tinder match on Snapchat before you've even met, too. And my thoughts about this are the following: Ummm, no.
Here's the thing. Private, inconspicuous stalking is one thing. No one will ever know. But putting yourself on blast and adding someone before you've even met is a whole other story. It screams, "I'm pretty sure this will work out, so let's make the social media step before we've even hung out," which is overzealous and a little bit loco. Unless you want to come off as a stage five clinger, don't smash that follow or like button until you've actually followed or liked your crush IRL... for a few dates.
So here are some reasons why adding your Tinder match on Snapchat is not a good idea. Because you want to leave a little mystery, right? And not come off as a stalker, even if you are a stalker? (We are all stalkers. Let's just admit it, OK?)
1. It's Thirsty
Adding your match on social media platforms before you have even met IRL may come off as a little bit desperate. What happens if you finally go on a date and hate each other? You're just going to keep up with their brunches and dumb stories on Instagram and Snapchat forever? You're essentially forcing your lives to be connected, far before they really should.
Plus, following too early can lead to things like zombieing, benching, and cushioning, where your crush could disappear from your life IRL, but still remain ever present on social media outlets — like Snapchat — only to confuse you and lead you on. Don't give them that opportunity.
2. It Can Lead To Sexting
Never forget how Snapchat started: as a platform for sexting and sending magical, vanishing n00dz. So following your crush on Snapchat might send them the wrong idea that maybe you're DTF instead of DTD (down to date). If you do follow them, make sure you keep your intentions clear. Otherwise, you might get an unsolicited d*ck pic sent your way.
3. It Might Be Unsafe
I don't use Snapchat because I am an older millennial (in my 30s, gross) but can't you, like, pretty much tell someone's exact location now with SnapMap? That seems dangerous to me. I'm not trying to be your mom or anything, but also, I am your mom, and I think that this feature is unsafe, and you shouldn't use it with strangers you don't know!
4. It Makes You Too Available
Leave a little mystery, you know? Your crush doesn't need to know where you are and what you're doing at all times. Otherwise, they won't really have time to be wondering about you. If you disclose all your personal information before you've even met, there's not much else left to talk about.
So let a lack of social media be a virtual cliffhanger to keep your first date fresh and fun. Then, save the online following for once you actually know each other.
BUT... It Could Be Good For Catching A Catfish
I guess there is one silver lining: Following your match on Snapchat can help you figure out whether or not you're dealing with a catfish. So if you think your match might be too good to be true, then maybe do a thorough social media stalking, and follow them on Snapchat, to find out what they're doing in realtime. If you can't get any evidence that your partner exists in the present via video, then you might have a problem on your hands.
So should you follow your crush on social media before you've even met? IMO, no. But if you can't resist the urge, then do it, but do it the right way — like spending your time figuring out if your Tinder match actually exists at all.
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