How Do You Know You Love Someone More Than They Love You
Tell me if you've been here before: You wait all week to spend time with your special someone, but when (hallelujah!) it’s time to actually hang out, they’d rather stare at their phone than into your eyes. If that’s happened to you, you might feel like you’re way more into your partner than they’re into you. That sucks. You can sense that something is off balance, you are definitely putting more energy into the relationship then they are, but how do you know you love someone more than they love you?
While this situation is never fun, it is pretty common. You're two separate people, after all, with two totally different life experiences and capacities for love. Also, just because your feelings are stronger right now doesn't mean your relationship is dead in the water. Step one is to identify the problem and do some soul searching to decide if that's good enough for you. Maybe you just feel things stronger, and that's OK, so long as you are happy and fulfilled in the relationship. But how do you know for sure that what you’re feeling about the dynamic in your relationship is real?
Here are 12 signs that you are giving more love than you are getting back.
1. They Rarely Ask Personal Questions
If someone were to give you a pop quiz about your partner, you're confident you would ace that sucker. That's because you are actively interested in getting to know everything about them. Your partner, on the other hand? Not so much. They are much less likely to ask you personal questions or remember the minutiae of every story you've told them.
2. They Don't Include You In Their Future
When you think of the next five years, your significant other is featured prominently in your plans. But when they talk about their hopes for the future, they use a lot of "I" language, and not really any "we."
3. You Always Initiate Affection
Yes, they will reciprocate, but you can't help but feel like it's always up you to reaching out for a hug, kiss, or a snuggle.
4. They Don't Ask For Your Opinion
Whenever you have a choice to make, whether it's as big as deciding where to move or as small as what's for dinner, you welcome and value their input. They, on the other hand, rarely ask for your feedback and tend to make decisions on their own.
5. They Wont Sacrifice Any Friend Time
You're happy to bow out of hanging out with friends once in a while if it means a little one-on-one time with bae, but they resist making that same sacrifice.
6. They Don't Reciprocate
You happily do all the little things that show you care, but they aren't always so great about reciprocating.
7. You Don't Feel Secure In The Relationship
You can't help but feel a sneaking suspicion that if the right person came along, your partner would leave you for them.
8. They Aren't Invested In Your Dreams And Goals
One of the things we naturally do when we love someone is to care about if they succeed in their goals. What's the point of being together if you can't cheer on your partner's achievements? But you get the sense that they aren't as concerned about your success as you are for theirs.
9. Any Relationship Work Is Too Much Work For Them
Relationships take work sometimes. Duh. It's not easy to recognize the problems and do the work to fix them, particularly if it means making some changes. If you are willing to do the work but they prefer to just let it be, even it means eventually breaking up... well, I think you know what that means.
10. You Are Constantly Working To Make Them Happy
How much time and effort is spent trying to make them happy? Now compare that to how much time and effort they are putting in to do the same for you.
11. You Always Are The First To Text
Your partner is good with the reply, but again, initiating the text conversation— yeah, not so much.
12. You Said "I Love You" First
Now this doesn’t mean they don't love you to bits, just that of the two of you, you were the one who just couldn't wait to let them know how you really feel.
Right now, you may be feeling super bummed, or maybe you’re proud of having such a big heart (which is an awesome trait), but either way let me leave you with this: Relationships ebb and flow, and love grows over time. Maybe today you’re the one who's more in love, but give it some time and see where the relationship goes. And if you decide that it's not enough and you want to find someone who loves you equally right now, then go for it. Do you, boo!
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