How To Reconnect With Your Old Hometown Hookup If You're Still Kinda Hot For Them
Returning home from college for winter break is great in theory, but once the initial excitement wears off, you still have two or three long weeks ahead of you. It's kind of inevitable that you'll end up reconnecting with your high school hookup, if only out of sheer boredom (at least that's the excuse you'll give to your friends). You've probably told your besties you're done with your high school fling. In reality, you might still miss the person you were casually seeing before you left for school. It's normal to wonder how they are... and whether or not they're still single.
Yes, you recently stalked them on Facebook and Instagram, but maybe they're in a new relationship and haven't posted about it yet. So, you sit in your childhood bed and swipe around, secretly hoping to come across their profile. Or maybe you put on something cute and drive around the neighborhood just in case they happen to be out and about. Like I said, totally normal, non-creepy stuff. If these strategies aren't cutting it, though, it might be time you take some advice from an expert. If you want to reconnect with your hometown hookup while you're back for the holidays, here's how to do it.
1. Ask yourself if the relationship was healthy.
Before going back to someone from your past, make sure you aren't setting yourself up to get hurt. Clinical psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish told Elite Daily that it's important to ask yourself a few questions if you're considering reconnecting with an ex or ex-hookup. "What are the 'deal breaker' aspects of his/her character that assure me that we are not a good match?" said Wish. "What was going on in my life that made me choose this person?" If you really can't come up with any deal breakers, then go ahead and reach out.
2. Communicate what you want.
When you do contact your hookup, make your intentions clear. If you solely want to spend time in the bedroom, keep things flirty and casual. In the event that you'd rather chat about what you've both been up to, skip the dirty talk and ask him or her to meet you for coffee. Whatever you're hoping for, try not to get too invested. It's easy to get caught up and forget that you'll both be going back to school in a few weeks, but you'll soon be reminded of the reality of your situation. Unless you're both willing to commit to a long-distance relationship, this is probably just a holiday hookup.
3. Don't dwell for too long.
Dr. Wish told Elite Daily that if you find yourself dwelling on the relationship for a long time, it could mean that you are beating yourself up emotionally or "focusing on that relationship to prevent yourself from honest self-examination." Of course you're going to think about him or her from time to time, but pay attention to how often your mind goes to your hookup. "It's OK to let thoughts of him or her drift by in your mind," said Dr. Wish. "'Drifts' are OK — 'dwells' are not." If you're constantly dwelling on this person, there may be an underlying personal issue you need to address.
If you're going to reconnect with your hometown hookup over the holidays, make sure you do it right. The last thing you want is to end up getting hurt, especially when you were just looking to have some fun.
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