Maybe you just got into a new relationship, or maybe you've been dating someone for a while, but either way, you've found yourself feeling a little concerned about your future together, looking for signs your relationship won't last. It might be that you can feel your partner pulling away a little, or maybe your passion has been fading recently. It might even simply be that you just have this weird, nagging gut feeling deep down that something's off, and you don't even really know why. In any case, you want to know what to expect — or how to fix it, if possible.
In terms of fixing things, the biggest thing you can do when you feel like something's not quite right in your relationship is talk to your partner and make sure you're both on the same page. But what if you don't even know what to look out for, or can't quite place what your concerns really are? Along with the signs I already mentioned, there are other things to pay attention to that can help you figure out what's going on and prepare yourself — whether that's to broach the subject with your partner and try to fix things, or for your relationship to potentially end.
Here are six signs that your relationship might not last, according to dating and relationship experts.
If your partner has seemed distant or withdrawn from you lately, it might just be that they're going through a rough time — maybe work is particularly stressful lately, or there's been some family drama going on behind-the-scenes. But, their distance from you could also be an indication that they're not 100 percent happy or invested in your relationship anymore, especially if they don't seem very present or thoughtful when they're with you.
According to Dr. Nikki Goldstein, relationship expert and author of Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age, that feeling of distance between you is definitely something to pay attention to. "If someone is pulling away, it might be a tell-tale sign that they are feeling smothered or not happy in the relationship," she told Elite Daily.
If you're feeling like your partner is pulling away, Goldstein's advice is to give them space. Hold off a little on trying to figure out exactly what's wrong and what it means for your relationship. Eventually, it'll all work out one way or the other.
"Don't follow them," she said. "If they are pulling away, give them the space and see if they come back. They might just need a bit of time."
When you first start dating someone and you're still in the honeymoon period, it's normal to spend a lot of time with them — and it's also normal to spend a little less time together as your relationship gets serious and you have more of a routine down. What could be a red flag, however, is if your partner stops taking you to social events with them, or if you both start doing fewer and fewer things together.
According to relationship and etiquette expert April Masini, if your partner has been excluding you from parts of their life and going to events without you, that could be a sign your relationship is going south.
"When your partner is proud of being with you, he or she will show you off, but if your partner is looking to break up with you, they won't invite you to social events where they might flirt and meet other people," Masini told Elite Daily.
Does it feel like you and your partner have been getting into more arguments recently? The occasional disagreement or fight is pretty normal (I mean, after all, everyone is different and relationships involve a lot of emotions and compromise!), but increased fighting — especially about things that seem small and petty — can be a red flag for sure.
According to Dr. Goldstein, if your partner picks a lot of fights with you, it might be a sign of some greater unhappiness.
"Often if someone is being overly argumentative about smaller things, they are holding onto deeper issues that they are struggling with," she explained.
A big sign that your partner might be starting to check out of your relationship is whether or not they go hot and cold on you — if you're often confused about where you stand with them or how they feel about you, that's definitely an issue. Not only does it show that they're on the fence about things, it's also frustrating and confusing for you if one week your partner seems cold and distant, and the next they're showing you all of the affection in the world.
Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author, told Elite Daily that this could be a sign that they're thinking about breaking up with you but feeling guilty about it.
"Vacillating back and forth between these two extremes is a clear indicator of the internal battle they’re having within themselves," Winter said.
You know that feeling in your gut when things just feel off and you feel really down about everything, but you can't really explain why? This could be explained by any number of things, but it can definitely also be an indicator that your relationship isn't going in the right direction, or that deep down you know your partner's questioning things, so pay attention to how you're feeling.
Along with that, Dr. Goldstein said you should be considering how you feel health-wise, as well.
"Are you not looking after yourself? Are you losing weight or putting on weight? Is your skin bad? Are you sick? Have you pulled away from family and friends?" Dr. Goldstein asked. "Sometimes we don't even realize we are unhappy, but our body does. Listen to what your body has to tell you."
Even if your partner doesn't seem checked out of the relationship, and even if you don't feel particularly down lately, that doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is A-OK. Maybe things with your partner are totally fine, but you haven't really been feeling it lately and you don't really know why. If you can feel your passion for your partner — or even just your passion for things in general — fading, that's also an issue you might have to contend with.
And the same goes for your partner — if they seem like they've lost interest in doing things they once enjoyed, that could also be a sign, because it shows that they (or if it's in your case, you) no longer really care.
"When your partner no longer has preferences, it often means they have one foot out the door," Winter explained. "There’s nothing to fight for, because there’s nothing to save."
That said, not all of these signs guarantee that you and your partner will break up. If you are in an otherwise healthy, satisfying relationship with someone you love (or feel like you might fall in love with), then take any of these signs as an opportunity to have a discussion about where you stand and what you want in the future. You might make things work, or you might not. In any case, communication is key.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!
