Everywhere you look, people are falling in love. Be it on television, in movies, or all over your Facebook timeline, it almost seems like once you're in love, everything just magically falls into place. But that's not always the case. Even in your relationship, things might not be perfect just because those three little words have been said. So, is it normal to not want to move in together even if you're both in love? Well, I asked the experts this exact question, because it's kind of complicated.
The thing is, this sensation is completely normal, so don't worry if you're going through it. "You can be in love, but you don't want to move in," licensed clinical psychotherapist, Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, tells Elite Daily. In fact, "That decision could be a very wise one," she says. Moving in with someone is a big change, and one that should be taken seriously. It might actually be a good thing if you aren't letting your feelings for that person dictate all of your decisions moving forward.
Living with someone isn't just about saving money on rent or hanging out with your partner all the time. It's about moving your relationship forward, and if you aren't ready to do that, then don't jump into it just because you're in love.
Now, if you're head over heels in love with your partner but feel serious apprehension about moving in with them, there might be a bigger issue at play. "Perhaps you have some doubts about your partner on some level," Barbara Grossman, Ph.D. and author of The Marriage Map: The Road To Transforming Your Marriage From Ordeal To Adventure tells Elite Daily. "You need more time to be certain the partner is a good match for you. You may have internal conflicts about moving in together without a more formal commitment." Clearly, there are a lot of things that could be running through your mind, and while it's totally OK to be feeling those things, that doesn't mean they don't need to be addressed.
Obviously, if you don't want to move in with your partner because of religious reasons, that's completely OK as well. And you shouldn't let anything make you feel like you have to compromise on that. Additionally, if you haven't been together for long, then you might just not be ready to move in, either. And Wish emphasizes that that is also normal.
In fact, Wish suggests waiting until you and your significant other have been together for a while before making such a big decision. "There is no magic number of weeks or months that you need to know your partner well, but aim for at least six months of being a couple," she says. "And, as an extra tip, wait until you've seen your partner in both good times and bad."
To be clear, if you and your partner are in love, but you aren't quite ready to move in with them, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. There are plenty of reasons why you might not want to move in yet, but it won't hurt to explore them thoroughly to understand what's really going on. You and your partner have every right to be happy together, and learning and growing together is exactly how to get there, whether you move in or not.
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