Think Twice About Using A Wedding To Introduce Your SO To Your Fam
Weddings are naturally romantic events, so it's normal to want to bring your partner along as your plus-one. However, if you're in a relatively new relationship, and your partner has yet to meet your family, you might want to think twice before using a big family event like this as a moment of introduction. If you're asking yourself whether or not a wedding is a good time to introduce your partner to your family, experts say it's probably best to not have them meet at such a big event.
"Introducing your partner to family is a big deal," relationship expert April Masini tells Elite Daily. "This is especially true if the relationship is meaningful and this person is 'the one,' or if you’re living together, or if you don’t usually have a partner, and now, you do." Additionally, if you're close to your family and they really care about you, the first time they meet your partner will be important to them, too. "Most families want to love your partner, but many — especially if you’ve had a divorce (or two) or a bad breakup in the past — will be looking out for signs that this person is good for you or not good for you," Masini says. "Think of this as a job interview — but much more important and much more personal."
That said, it might be best to introduce your partner to your family somewhere a little more low-key. "Ideally, it should happen before the wedding," dating and relationship coach Monica Parikh tells Elite Daily. "You want to bring a person into your family and see how they interact with your parents and siblings. Too close to the wedding will put an undue amount of pressure on you if you get back feedback."
Weddings may be fun, but they aren't really the best place to get to know someone. Think about it: You wouldn't really take a first date to a wedding, would you? "You don’t really get to know someone who is introduced at a wedding," Masini explains. "There is loud music, dinner being served, too many people at a table to have a meaningful conversation. And while it’s a festive event, it’s a disruptive meeting place. This is more the place where you say quick hellos to someone you want to meet in the future or have met already."
That said, there is an exception. "If you don’t get along with your family, or you typically fight with them, and you're dreading a meet-the-parents dinner, then a wedding is actually a good way to introduce your partner to your family," Masini says. Maybe you have a complicated relationship with your family and need some sort of icebreaker or tension reliever. Whatever the case, having them meet at a wedding where they can't talk that much and can remain regularly distracted might not be a bad idea.
At the end of the day, only you and your partner can decide on the proper time to make formal introductions. It's totally your call, but in most cases, experts agree that a wedding probably isn't the best place for your family to get to know the person you're seeing. (Unless, of course, you don't actually want them to get to know each other.) Set up a coffee meeting or a brief weekend lunch before the big event, instead, so that your immediate family and your partner have adequate time to chat, get to know each other, and establish a light familiarity. That way, when the wedding comes along, you won't be making introductions over fancy table settings and bottles of champagne.