If You're In A Relationship But Not Celebrating Thanksgiving Together, Is That Normal? Here's The Truth
If you're in a relationship, you could easily feel pressure to bring your partner home for Thanksgiving. It's a chance to take that next step in your relationship and introduce them to your family if you haven't already, plus you get to bond together even more. If you're in a relationship but not celebrating Thanksgiving together, don't feel like an outcast who's doing something wrong. You're totally within your rights to still do things separately from your partner, because you're not actually obligated to do every single thing together.
"When you’re close with your family or have a tradition you look forward to every year, you may not want to miss it in order to go spend time with your partner, who you have the privilege of seeing daily or on a more regular basis," Burns tells Elite Daily. "If your separate commitments are in different towns or even states, it may not be realistic to make it to both events together. If you’re in the relationship for the long haul though, eventually you may want to compromise and alternate events each year so that you can still be together even though it may mean missing out on your preferred celebration. Though secure couples have no problem doing things solo at times, holidays are usually special events and time to create your own traditions that can take your relationship to the next level in terms of closeness and bonding."
Burns explains that another reason you may not do Thanksgiving with your partner is that you just aren't ready for that step yet.
"Maybe you haven’t been dating very long, or don’t feel quite ready to introduce each other to the family chaos and conflict that the holidays can bring up," she says. "If you’re on the same page about this, then no harm in holding off until you feel more established and secure as a couple. However, if one partner is ready for that next step and to be let into your inner world, it can be hurtful to not include them in your festivities."
Or, you could hold off on inviting your partner to Thanksgiving because you just don't see the point in make a big deal out of it.
"You just don’t view the holiday as anything special," she says. "Some people didn’t grow up with any Thanksgiving traditions, so to them it’s just another ordinary day. If your partner is OK without you tagging along, you may want to create or find meaningful ways to celebrate other occasions together, such as birthdays or anniversaries."
Another reason you may go to Thanksgiving holidays separately is the skyrocketing airfare prices. Some couples may not be able to afford the expense of traveling, and that doesn't reflect on your relationship at all.
Burns doesn't think that forgoing on celebrating Thanksgiving together flags anything seriously wrong in the relationship.
"However, if you’re avoiding spending Thanksgiving together because you’re embarrassed to introduce your partner to your relatives, or you’re using it as a distancing strategy to take some space, you’re likely avoiding bigger problems in the relationship," she says.
Like Burns said, as long as this is something both of you are OK with, there is absolutely nothing wrong about spending the holiday apart. Just be sure to check in with each other, like sending updates about how stuffed you are or all of the Black Friday deals you're excited to check out, and enjoy the holiday with whoever you're spending it with.