There may come a time in your life when the proverbial rain clouds split and sun shines down upon you. Suddenly, you know what you want and are ready to pursue it with all of your efforts. This can happen within any realm of your life (i.e. personal, professional, physical, spiritual) and when it happens, it's hard to ignore. If you have sudden clarity about what you want in your romantic life, it can feel intimidating to decide that you are going to start dating seriously. It's a pretty freaking brave and vulnerable move that you should be proud of for even considering!
To make sure that you don't get discouraged from the jump, there are certain things to keep in mind. To protect yourself, and foster positivity surrounding finding love, it can help to practice self-love, measure your expectations about the dating world, and consider doing intentional things that make you feel excited about finding love.
Consulting with other people in your life can help as well. You can start by telling your friends that you're ready to date seriously, or mention it to your therapist, and talk through your feelings about it, if you feel comfortable. If you want to take it a step further, you could ask your friends to set you up with someone or even consider seeing a palm or tarot reader for some potential insight.
If you're ready to put yourself out there for something serious, remember the following mantras.
You really are. This is one of the most important things to remember when you're dating seriously, because the dating world can sometimes make you feel like you need to change a bunch of things about yourself to fit in. Try to repeat this in the good times, medium times, and the not-so-great times, so that you begin to develop a habit of believing this about yourself. If you question why this matters, consider the fact that you wouldn't want a potential partner to feel like they aren't worthy of you. So, you should feel the same way about yourself!
When you're trying to date seriously, remember that you're looking for a partner that matches with you in a way that is empowering, encouraging, sustainable, and affirming. Relationships can be surprisingly easy to start if your only goal is to be in a partnership, and your only requirement in a person is that they also want a relationship.
When dating seriously, you might want to be picky as possible. You're in it for the long haul, so if you want to, it's OK if you pass up on a lot of potential partners because you're waiting for the right person to come along.
The worst relationships I've ever had were ones where I didn't meet anyone else in that person's life. I was so charmed by them, and how they made me feel, I didn't push to meet any of their friends because I didn't want to scare them away.
The thing is, if you're ready for a serious partner it is a good idea to meet some of the people in this person's life because that's one of the ways you could get to know a person better. If they want to introduce you to their friends or family, this could also be a sign that they want to envelope you into their life, which is important when thinking long-term.
Dating apps can be an amazing tool, but they can be exhausting if you don't fully know what you plan to do with them. If you use them while trying to date seriously, there are a few ways to make sure that you don't get hurt by others who don't want the same things as you.
For instance, it's totally reasonable to say that you're interested in meeting up with people instead of just talking. You can also say that you're interested in a relationship, but you're not required to. It can also help to have a set time you go on them and a plan for how much you want to talk to someone before asking them on a date. Set rules and patterns for yourself, in order to feel as comfortable as possible.
It's pretty awesome that you're ready and willing to put yourself out there in this way. Dating takes a lot of courage and confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table as a partner! And when you shine as bright as you do, people can't help but take notice.
