There are plenty of reasons to hook up with a person. You might hook up with a person because you're horny. Fun! You might hook up with a person because they're super hilarious, or because they're slide-off-your-chair hot. You might hook up because you're moving soon, and you don't want to get into anything serious. You might hook up with someone because they're moving soon, and they don't want anything serious. It's all fun and games until someone catches feels. If you've ever done the whole falling for your hookup buddy thing, you know how brutal it can be.
The problem with the term "hookup buddy" is that usually, while you're definitely hooking up, you're never really buddies. Because most of us don't hookup with our buddies — or, as I prefer to call them, friends — and if we do hookup with a buddy, that usually complicates the whole friendship part of said relationship. It's absolutely possible to desire and be satisfied with casual sex with the same person for a while, but if you like the sex and the personality, feelings usually develop. You feel them little by little, until eventually, the whole mutually agreed upon hookup is painful to participate in, because all you want is to marry your buddy and adopt little babies with them. Woof. Here are the seven brutal stages of catching feelings for your hookup buddy.
Sharing a bed with someone while not doing the sex is a very intimate thing. Think about it — snoring, drooling, and even accidental emissions happen while you're sleeping. Sleeping next to a person is scary, until you start to like them. Yes, you could just be excited to stay over because it's convenient, but the moment you start looking forward to the pillow talk and cuddling portions of the hookup, you know something's brewing in your little heart.
You know the deal — when you start thinking of your hookup at work, while you're in the shower, when you hear a romantic song, or when you go a wedding, you know the feelings are coming. You miss them! Uh oh...
When you can't stop name-dropping someone you're sleeping with to your friends, you like them, full stop. If you find yourself constantly saying things like, "Well, Jason went to Portugal once and..." you, my friend, have a major crush on your buddy.
Once you start admitting to yourself that you have these feelings for your hookup buddy, you might find yourself enjoying them. You might start looking forward to text messages, reading into comments they make, and treating your hookup like a relationship even though you're not really going on dates.
Whether you ask your hookup out to dinner or try to plan a weekend getaway together, you make subtle hints to your buddy that you want to be more than friends who eff. This can be brutal if they don't respond well to your advances. This can be especially brutal if they don't respond well, but want to keep hooking up.
You begin stalking their Instagram feed for other people who always like their photos. You convince yourself they are hooking up with every other person in your city, and while you keep hooking up, it's mostly torture because you just want to ask them to be your special person.
Eventually, you realize you need to have the conversation. You both agreed that you weren't exclusive originally, but everything's changed now. You take a deep breath and say your feelings, because that's the only way you'll feel good about the end of things. No matter how your hookup buddy responds, you'll feel glad you put it all out there. Best of luck!
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