Whether you broke up with your ex last week or last year, as long as their number is still in your contacts, the possibility of sending a barrage of embarrassing texts after one too many happy hour margs is ever-present. Drunk texting is just one of those things that will probably make you cringe long after your ex has forgotten the offense. Even if you had no intention of maintaining a friendship, if you drunk-texted your ex, you might want to do some damage control. According to relationship expert Susan Winter, the first step is to bite the bullet and re-read the exchange with your sober hat on.
"Your level of embarrassment (if any) is contingent upon what you wrote," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Did you sext-bomb your now engaged ex? Did you reveal far too much about your feelings of missing them? Were you angry or reprimanding? Upon re-reading what you’ve written, would your ex understand and think it’s funny, or judge you?" The answers to these questions will greatly impact how you should proceed. If you weren't on speaking terms with your ex anyway, or they didn't even bother to respond, it might be best to just delete their number and move on.
If things got heated and you said some things you really regret, it's worth taking the initiative to clear the air. "Apologize by sending a gracious text the following morning," Winter advises. "If you said anything in haste or anger, correct it with the sober truth and clarify anything that’s inaccurate."
This might also be a good time to consider deleting your ex's number. "Do you really need it?" Winter asks. "If the relationship is over and you‘ve both moved on, there’s no reason to cling to the past, especially if it’s problematic in the present day."
If the texts weren't too bad, but you still think they deserve acknowledgment, Winter recommends messaging your ex something like, "Hey, I’m so sorry for the text messages. Well, guess I’m going dry for the next month. Hope you understand," or, "I feel absolutely awful reading these text messages. Lesson learned. I can’t do shots. Please accept my sincere apologies."
However, if the things you wrote were particularly hurtful or intense, a more in-depth explanation might be appreciated. Consider sending an apology along with a serious clarification of what you said.
Plenty of people are guilty of sending an embarrassing text message or two while drinking. Even though it may feel humiliating after the fact, the sooner you can stop beating yourself up about it, apologize, and try to block it out, the better. Nobody's perfect, and perhaps the silver lining in the situation is the realization that it's time to delete your ex's number and leave the past where it belongs.