If You Don't Like Your Friend's Partner, Here's What To Do, According To Real Women
So your friend met this guy, and he's all she's been talking about. She loves this guy. As far as your friend is concerned, he's the best guy she's met in ages. Needless to say, you're a good friend, and you're happy for her. You can't wait to meet him! That is, until you do meet him, and he is, quite simply, the worst. Even if this isn't your exact situation, it's one that arises quite frequently, and we're usually left at a loss for what to do. I mean, what do you do when you don't like your friend's partner?
A recent Reddit thread asked ladies to share, from their own personal experience, what they've done when they didn't like their friends' partners. So if you ever find yourself in this situation, or if you're in it right now, read on and see if you can look to these ladies' experiences for some insight.
She wore black to their wedding in protest.
my sister. she wouldn't listen to me and thought i just wanted her to be unhappy. i felt so bad about him that i passive-aggressively (i was 19) wore black to the wedding. he is locked away now for attempted murder.
She didn't say anything, but he showed his true colors in due time.
Yes, but I didn't say anything overt to her because I knew she wouldn't hear it. He ended up being a rank nasty creep who cheated on her (truly amazing that he managed to find two women to think he was worth giving even the time of day) and since she's moved on she's been really good about seeking perspectives on shitty behavior and actually doing something about it. I'm proud of her.
She regrets ignoring her gut feeling.
Yes I did. No, I didn't tell him because he seemed to be so happy and in love, so I convinced myself it was my own paranoia and over-protectiveness (he has a lot of mental health problems). Turns out she was very controlling and abusive. I knew it for sure when he suddenly told me he didn't want to be friends anymore out of the blue. I later learned that she made him do that after they broke up and he contacted me again. I need to learn to trust my gut more.
She was honest about how she felt, and they broke up a month after.
With my cousin's first SO, I just knew from the moment I met him that he wasn't a good guy. I spent a weekend with him and it became apparent that he was pretty sexist, homophobic and just an all around asshole. I had a conversation with my cousin about him and she broke up with him a month later. She has since met the love of her life, so it all worked pretty well.
She told her friend, and they broke up two years after.
Yes. I told my friend and she continued dating him for 2 years and finally broke up with him. I was definitely right. Lol the great thing is that he’s a massive homophobe, and my friend is now in a wonderful loving relationship with another woman.
She told her sister how she felt right away, and her sister eloped anyway.
When my sister's best friend and I met her ex husband for the first time we INSTANTLY knew we didn't like him. He was cocky, rude, and was dismissive of our big friendly chocolate lab. He gave us all the wrong vibes. We told her right away what we thought. So instead, she ran away with him after 3 months to Hawaii when he got stationed there, got married in secret, and had a baby. He did nothing but cheat on her, wouldnt let her gain weight while pregnant, and generally isolated her and made her a shell of her former self. They finally got divorced and we never see him. At least I got a kickass niece out of it. Shes 6 now and I love her more than anyone in the entire world.
She drunkenly talked about it, her BFF found out, and it ruined the friendship.
Yep - best friend found out how I felt after I drunkenly ranted about it to someone else. When she approached me I told her the truth - your boyfriend makes me uncomfortable and I see A,B and C (red flags) in him that make me worry. She told him and he blew up about it. Our friendship has never been the same :\ I heard he plans on proposing later this year, so I guess we are stuck with him. I just hope the wounds heal and we can become close again.
Her friend chose the guy anyway.
Yes, I have. I first met him about 12 years ago when my friend and I were barely out of our teens. He's the kind of guy who seemed nice on the outside, but as soon as you talk to him, alarms bells start ringing. He's manipulative, controlling and talked like he was God's gift to women. He compared her to other women, asking her to dress and carry herself in certain ways and didn't want her spending time with certain people. I told her, advised her and tried to help her out of her relationship. She stayed on with him, and I stayed by her side. Then he proposed to her, and basically asked her to choose between him and people like me (whom he regards as lesser than he is). They got married and I lost a friend. The sad part is that I was proven right to her face so many times and she knew this, but she still made a choice, so yeah...
She shared how she felt, and her BFF dumped him.
My BFF, I expressed my opinions softly, and waited for her to realize. Now she is much happier with someone who isn’t such a creeep.
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