I Texted My Partner ~Flirty~ Messages For Five Days & Here's What Happened

Lauren Dana

Summer is an exciting time — everyone's adrenaline is pumping, things are heating up (literally and figuratively), and there's just ~good vibes~ all around. But after July, the August blues set in, and the season of summer lovin' comes to a (drastic) halt. In an effort to fight away the summertime sadness, I've taken flirting with my boyfriend to new levels to distract myself from the impending chilly, cloudy months ahead. (Why can't it be summer all year 'round?) I decided that for five days, I would flirt with my boyfriend over text.

For the sake of the experiment, I vowed to send my boyfriend, Zach, a solid mix of silly and steamy text messages for five days straight (without his knowledge of this experiment, mind you!) to see if the texts had any impact on our relationship and our post-work rendezvous. Usually, Zach and I text pretty boring things: what we need at the grocery store, if we have plans later, and whatnot. Sometimes, though, we'll text each other loving messages of encouragement and support (my favorite texts to receive!). But thus far, we haven't really experimented with flirty texts — just goofy ones.

The experiment was cringe-worthy yet hilarious. Here's how it impacted our relationship.

Day 1: "I'm So Sweaty From The Heat...We NEED to Shower Later ;)"
Courtesy Lauren Dana

For Day 1, I decided to go the subtle route, since I didn't want Zach to realize I was up to anything out of the ordinary. But the joke's on both of us, since he didn't get my hint and he sent me the goofiest, most nonchalant answers ever. A great first start to the week-long experiment, right?!

Honestly, though, I was a bit nervous to start off the experiment. It was way out of our comfort zone and the "unknown" aspect of it (i.e. how would he respond?) was a bit scary: Would he laugh? Would he ignore me? What if I wasn't actually being sexy or flirty?

But, not gonna lie, I was cracking up at my desk that he didn't pick up any cue or hint as to me being sexy or flirty. He, on the other hand, thought nothing of it, and carried on a normal conversation, which made it all the more humorous — and a great cure for the Monday Blues.

Day 2: "Is The Sun Just Extra Hot and Bright Right Now, Or Are You Just Smiling At Me From Your Office?"
Courtesy Lauren Dana

Although this flirt was a bit more forward than the one from the day before, it's also quite ~mysterious~ and I don't think Zach picked up on it at all (classic boy, right?).

This opening line also happened to be super-cheesy. Zach has always teased me for being cheesy and corny (but I can't help it!). I love expressing my love, despite how much I cringe looking at this now.

But despite the lackluster convo, we went on to have a silly banter about our work, how tired we were, and how we were craving dinner at 3 p.m.

After work, we went on to have a romantic-filled evening: We lit a candle, he helped me cook dinner, and we spent the rest of the night canoodling watching Law and Order: SVU. But that's not all we did, either.

Day 3: "You Light Me On Foyer" (Autocorrect... Fire)
Courtesy Lauren Dana

Zach always uses these bizarre flirty lines and jokes that often make me laugh. I've always loved that he's basically fearless when it comes to making a fool of himself, whether with family, friends, or me.

I was trying to keep a straight face (both in person and via text), but I couldn't help from LOL-ing at my desk in front of my coworkers. However, these texts meant a lot to me, as we were having a super stressful Wednesday — Zach was working a temp job and his boss surprised him with an end date sooner than he expected, aka the last day of the experiment. These messages made both of us smile and were a good distraction from his frustrating situation at work.

Most of all, though, these texts just further reaffirmed our love and devotion to each other and made the hard times a little less difficult. I couldn't be more grateful for these silly little convos.

Day 4: "You're My Own Version of a Happy Meal ;)"
Courtesy Lauren Dana

I was feeling a little frisky... but I guess Zach was feeling silly (yet again). I think he was on to me, so he sent me some weird lines and responses, such as, "If you were the gnarliest slimiest booger, I’d pick you, then I’d proceed to rub you all long [along] my pants." (Cringe.)

In an effort to not make him even more suspicious, I cooled off on the flirting and try to change the convo and add silly, lighthearted jokes. I can't blow my cover... not yet, anyways. Luckily, though, he never brought anything up to me about the text messages, but better safe than sorry, right?

Day 5: "I'm Hungry, But Not For Food"
Courtesy Lauren Dana

Friday meant it was the final day of this experiment, so I decided to be somewhat explicit and lay it all out on the table in honor of the experiment ending. As a result, my messages were a little, um, risky, to say the least.

I was feeling confident and ready to celebrate the weekend (hence the "Like run" text) and wanted to kick things off with a fun yet sexy start. Zach works half-days on Fridays and I'm completely off (yay!), so I waited for him at home as I sent the text, cleaned up the apartment, and put on my favorite bra — if you catch what I'm saying here.

It was a fun way to end the five-day-long experiment, and afterwards, I finally broke the news to him. To no surprise, he was cracking up.

Overall, this experiment gave us something to laugh about and served as some much-needed humor during a pretty stressful week. The 'texting test,' as I call it, was a great way for us to relax and focus on us, which can get difficult in the hustle and bustle of life. It certainly brought us closer, made us laugh harder, and filled our hearts with so much love and appreciation for one another.

Here's to more fun and flirty texts ahead!

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