A solid relationship that has long-term potential can be considered "ideal" for some. However, figuring out if the person you're with is ~the one~ can be tricky if you've yet to feel that indescribable certainty that many people try to put into words. But, before we talk about how you know your partner is your soulmate, I think it's important to clarify that "soulmates" can be as grand or as practical a concept as feels right to you. People often talk about soulmates as if we each only have one and it's our duty to persevere until we find them unless we want to end up unhappy in the end.
IMO, looking for one "perfect" person in a world of millions of people (many of which could be a compatible match) is an extremely daunting task that sets many of us up for disappointment in the long-run. People aren't perfect, and we often don't remain the exact same as we grow, evolve, and age. A "soulmate" doesn't have to be someone who is perfect. A soulmate should be someone who you are excited to be around, experience life with, and who's willing to put in the work to maintain the relationship. Here's how some Redditors found the people they want by their side for the long haul.
1. No matter what anyone says about them, it just feels right.
I had zero doubts about the person. My gut feeling was "this is the one". My mother tried to talk/gaslight me out of the relationship but I didn't even toy with the idea. I was willing to do things I wouldn't normally otherwise do to maintain the relationship, like move somewhere that I didn't know anybody and find a new job, totally uproot my life. I knew it would be worth it.
2. Your relationship makes sense, *and* you can talk about poop.
I felt like I knew from the very beginning. It was just a deep down feeling like, "of course we'll be together."
But the moment I really knew was when I was constipated. He asked me what was wrong and I was embarrassed to tell him. When I finally told him, I was expecting an "ew gross." He actually said, "oh, well you should try leaning back and the poop will come out easier." I knew he was perfect. Married for 1 year, together for 7. 💩
3. They challenge you in a perfect way.
For me it was the opposite of the "home" analogy. Every opinion that he held was a new and interesting perspective for me. I felt like I (and everyone else I knew) saw things in black and white and he had ideas and ways of thinking that were neon. He challenged every thought and belief that I had without even trying to. I was amazed with him. He was like an alien. Our connection was instantaneous. He would later call it "love at first sight", but for me it felt more like the most intense curiosity.
He left everything and moved in with me a couple months later. It'll be 10 years together in 2 months. We're married with 2 kids now.
4. You can talk to them about anything.
He was a good friend for a long while; it just sort of hit me like a sledgehammer while we were arm-wrestling. Like wham, this is somebody I can talk to about anything and I could totally do that for the rest of my years without ever getting bored. It's had its ups and downs, but we'll be 3 years together this January.
5. You can fight kindly.
Screw all this corny stuff. I knew after our first fight. We were able to sit down both say we were sorry and talk it out. This has been the defining difference. Can you fight kindly, can you resolve your problems kindly. Can you take a deep breath and let go of your personal problem to alliviate the issue at hand? Can you sacrifice being right for the sake of peace? Thats when i knew she was my other person.
6. You look at each other in a special way.
We were on a double date at a sushi place, and I was eyeing a roll that was a bit too far away for me to reach. She paused her conversation, grabbed a piece, and fed it to me. But that wasn't what made me realize she was the one: It was the way she looked at me when she did it. It was like she was star-struck. I started noticing whenever she would do it, and she did it a lot. She still does. She's pretty great.
7. You're excited to share your life with them.
I feel like my current boyfriend is "the one." There are so many differences between him and my past love interests, but one particular instance made me realize how different my relationship with him was from all of the others. About a year into our relationship, I went away for a few weeks on a volunteer trip to a new, faraway place. When I went exploring on our free days, I wanted more than anything for my boyfriend to be there to witness all of new sights with me and I thought about how much he would love the city. I daydreamed about coming again one day so I could see his face light up while exploring. It wasn't really that I was missing him but, rather, I felt that I wanted to experience life with him right by my side. That's when I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making memories with him.
Ultimately, finding someone who you're excited to be with in the long run is important for the longevity of a relationship. However, "soulmate" may mean something different to everyone, and that's totally OK. As long as you and a potential partner are satisfied and happy with your relationship, then that's all that matters.
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