I am an active dating app user. I'm on all the apps! What a cool thing to admit to the world. Anyway, I know how to use your dating app to find a date, but it's a whole other strategy when you're using it to find a hookup... which, for a while, I didn't know how to do. I've never had a one-night stand — another groovy thing to tell people. (I'm boring.)
However, I'm all about being sex positive and having safe, consensual sex whenever you feel like it. Women get horny, too, you know? We should be proud of that. Wanting and pursuing sex is totally normal and should be done without shame, and enjoying pleasure or having multiple sexual partners doesn't make you a sl*t. I hate that word. Let's drop that preconceived notion ASAP and, instead, provide a handy guide on how to use the resources available to you to look for a quick hookup. Because sometimes, you just need to satiate that sexual appetite, you know? YOU KNOW?!?
1. Go Outside Your Comfort Zone
"Let your gut tell you who to swipe on," Dating and relationship coach Fran Greene, LCSW, told Elite Daily. "It's about letting your imagination and feelings at the moment be your guide. Perhaps your fantasy is an older guy or someone who has really long hair or someone who wears cowboy boots."
Whom I want to date and whom I want to f*ck are two entirely different people. I want to date a CEO, someone who will treat me well, or someone my parents will like. On the other hand, I want to have sex with a guy who is covered in tattoos, will ask to borrow rent money, and who will never call me again. (Listen, the heart wants what it wants.)
So if you're just looking for plain, old-fashioned boning, swipe with your member, not your mind. That's what you're looking to please, anyway.
2. Be Explicit
If you're just looking for a hookup, then you can probably skip the fancy dinner and pleasantries. That'll just lead someone on and waste that millennial money you could totally be saving for avocado toast or a house one day (but not both, apparently).
Instead, just message your match, and tell them you're looking for a good time. Ask them if they're up for a drink. Say you're not looking for anything serious. Most likely, they'll be refreshed by your honesty, and you'll soon be getting refreshments. (And a lot more.)
3. Stay Safe
Don't forget to stay safe when you meet IRL. The last thing you want is for your fantasy to turn into a nightmare. The word is a scary place, mmmkay?
"Always meet in a public place, get yourself to and from the date, [and] make sure your cell phone is charged," Greene said. "Share your plans with a trusted friend, stick to a one-drink rule, and it's OK to change your mind if you meet [them] and [they're] creepy, scary, or your sixth sense says run!"
I can't emphasize this enough: Always trust your gut. Your gut is right. Always.
And don't forget to remind yourself of another security risk: your emotions. Greene continues, "The other safety concern refers to your heart. You asked for a hookup, so [they] may be married, involved, or [they], too, just [want] a fling."
Random sex is fun, but not always without repercussions. So definitely use those apps for what you want (in this case, boning), but be careful while you're at it. And never feel ashamed — or let anyone else shame you — for craving or seeking out sex. You deserve pleasure, too, bb.
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