So you want to hook up like... now. Tonight. On demand. No strings attached. The good news is that you're using the right app for that (Tinder). The bad news is... well, there really isn't any bad news, as long as you play it safe and don't get murdered. (Yes, I'm an alarmist.) I've never had a one-night stand, and I'm not sure I will ever have the lady-balls to message a stranger next time I'm feeling, um, antsy, but I'm in total support of anyone who wants to know how to hook up with someone right now by using Tinder.
Even while researching this article, I got a little shade. The commentary sounded something like, "You're a lady — why would you want to know how to get sex from a stranger from the internet?" Well, here's the thing: It's 2017. People get their groceries and their rides to the airport and even their sex toys from the internet. A nice little romp doesn't have to be any different.
Elite Daily spoke to dating and relationship coach Fran Greene, LCSW about how to use Tinder to hook up within the next 24 hours.
Swipe Right Outside Of Your "Type"
The best part about having a one-time fling is that you can indulge in whatever fantasy you might have. I'm not suggesting you swipe right on Trumpy-seeming misogynists, but allow yourself to explore matches who might initially seem outside of your "type" — I mean, what even is a "type" anyways?
"Let your gut tell you who to swipe on," says Greene. "It's about letting your imagination and feelings at the moment be your guide. Perhaps your fantasy is an older guy or someone who has really long hair or someone who wears cowboy boots."
Yee-haw. This is your hookup, so let that empower you. Swipe on someone who excites you.
Let's say you log on to Tinder to find your soulmate — crazier things have happened — and you start a conversation with a sweet person only to exchange numbers and then receive a late night "you up?" text. This was a person who was looking for a casual hookup, not marriage and babies. Don't you kind of wish they would have let you know sooner?
If you're looking to get it in tonight, be straightforward with your match. "This way, you are not pretending to want something other than a hookup," explains Greene.
Send them a clear message right away. You can start with anything from a more tepid "what are you doing tonight" or an unmistakeable "want to meet up for sex?" Whatever your phrasing, just be clear about what you are looking for.
Additionally, Greene says that you should be prepared for all different responses from "all types of guys, some that may be quite kinky or aversive." Woof. Just remember that you can immediately un-match the a-holes.
Safety First, Or Don't Do It
I'm not trying to be your mom; I'm trying to keep you alive. The world is (unfortunately) a very scary place. Especially for women. (Not sure why men keep murdering us; it would be great if they could tuck it in.) My recent deep dive into excellent true crime has me dead-bolting my doors and walking through the New York streets with my keys between my finger in a fist. That may seem nutty, but I truly believe that a healthy amount of skepticism about your surroundings can keep you safe.
If you are meeting a stranger online, safety ALWAYS comes first. Greene says that you need to remind yourself of this, too. "He's a stranger, no matter how great the vibes are," she says. I mean, think about Ted Bundy. Dude was hot.
"Always meet in a public place, get yourself to and from the date, [and] make sure your cell phone is charged," says Greene. "Share your plans with a trusted friend, stick to a one-drink rule, and it's OK to change your mind if you meet him and he's creepy, scary or your sixth sense says run!"
OK, so maybe you can have more than one drink if you have some mutual friends in common with your match, but be careful AF, and make sure you bring your match home to your place.
Check In With Your Feels
Of course, there is nothing wrong with a one-night stand. That said, don't peer pressure yourself into having one if you are not sure. (Can you even peer pressure yourself? Going to go with yes.)
In all seriousness, it's important to make sure your heart is in the right place before embarking on a Tinder rendezvous. "The other safety concern refers to your heart," says Greene. "You asked for a hookup, so he may be married, involved, or he, too, just wants a fling."
This is so real. Even though you are reading this article and looking to find sex tonight via Tinder, make sure you are truly comfortable with the idea of a one-time hookup. If you're going to feel "less than" or value your body less after letting a stranger have at it, know that maybe this isn't the right move for you and that's totally OK. You're still cool, feminist, and in charge of your life. I don't think I'll ever be able to hook up with a stranger from an app on a whim, but I'll also never climb Mt. Everest. Everybody's different.
Plus, there are delivery services that bring you sex toys, so you can always do that instead.
For those of you swiping right in preparation for a spontaneous sexy time, I applaud you. PLEASE be safe. In the words of my favorite podcast, My Favorite Murder, "Stay sexy and don't get murdered."
Get it, girls.
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