One of the hardest parts about sharing a room with a roommate is cultivating a sense of privacy. Whether it's to watch Netflix or hookup with a hottie you met in class, sharing the room respectfully is important! Figuring this out can sometimes be seriously stressful for both roommates to negotiate. But the best thing you can do is talk it out and figure out what works for both of you. If you're unsure how to approach the subject, here's how to tell your roommate you're hooking up and need some privacy.
When it comes down to it, it's about being open and honest about what you need while also considering your roommate's schedule and preferences. Your roommate might be wondering how to start this conversation, too! Make sure to ask before hooking up with someone while they're in the room, because everyone present for sexual activity needs to consent to its occurrence. If you don't feel super comfortable with your roommate, remember you don't have to give details. You can simply say that you need a certain amount of alone time or that a date is coming over. Check out the following tips for more advice!
One tactic is just keeping things simple and scheduling it all out. Approach your roomie and tell them what your plan is or what you're hoping to do. You can start off by asking them about their preferences for having guests over. If you're comfortable, you can go on to say that you want to bring someone back to the room to hook up. Just remember that you're not required to give them details. Ask what time your roommate is gone from the room anyways or what time would work for them to plan to be away for a couple of hours.
For a more old school approach, you can start by talking to your roommate about how they want to handle having partners over. If they're really chill with it and also plan to have people over, you can stick with the old "sock on the door" trick to signal that the room is occupied. If you don't want your whole dorm hall to know what is happening, though, you could write a code word on the white board on the outside of your door as well.
It's 2018, so that probably means that both you and your roommate live and breathe some sort of digital calendar. Once you talk about what each of you would prefer, you could use GCal to create events and reminders for when both of you plan to hookup with someone. It's a simple, tech-savvy way to get down to business.
If you want to get creative, come up with an emoji signaling system. Sit down and talk about how you'd like to go about sharing the room when it comes to needing alone time. If you both will need time to hookup with people, consider coming up with an emoji that means you're hooking up with someone in the room. Honestly, what else did Apple expect people to use the eggplant and peach emojis for?
If none of the above work, you can always make an established time every week that you'll each be alone in your room. If you have a long-term partner, come up with a time each week that works for both your sweetheart and your roommate. For example, if your roommate has a chunk of time on Thursday where they never come home, and your partner doesn't have class, you could establish that as your sexy-time window.
If this takes time to work out, don't worry! Coexisting with someone is hard work and it's awesome that you're trying to prioritize both of your needs. The best thing to do when it comes to negotiating relationships is to keep an open dialogue.
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