There are lots of things we are expected to just know how to do in life, without any sort of proper training. You know, things like paying bills, investing money, or even GIVING BIRTH TO AND RAISING A CHILD. One other intense thing a lot of us have no idea how to do, yet are expected to do with ease? Make a long-term relationship last. We are expected to easily find someone special, fall in love with them, and ideally spend the rest of our lives just knowing how to make that love last. But if you're wondering how to make a long-term relationship last, trust me, you're not alone. Nobody taught us how to do that! That's not some innate wisdom we laypeople just have!
Sure, maybe some of you are the product of happy marriages, and you were able to learn how to make a long-term relationship last by example. But for those of us who were not afforded that luxury, I come bearing some useful tips. A recent Reddit thread asked dudes in long-term relationships to explain how to make a long-term relationship last, based on their own personal experiences. Read along and maybe think about applying some of these tips to your own long-term relationship.
Tear down the walls you've built up over time.
Biggest problem I see is people often don't talk about things, or they have boundaries.
Have no boundaries with your spouse. None. Tell them your darkest fears and insecurities. Tell them your most fucked up thoughts on the world, and feel free to be the worst around them while striving to be the best around them.
Shit doesn't get old that way, every day just continues to be a joy.
Also f*ck like gorillas.
Don't forget to compliment your partner.
I add custom responses to my phone that compliment my wife whenever I ask it to. Always gets a smile.
Take them on a nice trip.
Take her on vacation or she'll find someone who does.
Never stop being grateful for them.
Surprise her with something she'd like.
Surprise dinner at a place you both like to go to, wear the shirt that she likes to see on you so much (maybe Iron it for a change) and tell her you really love her and that you appreciate her so much for being in your life and that you're happy with her.
Just cause you are in a long term relationship doesn't mean you can stop trying. :)
I repeat: Give them genuine compliments years down the line.
Being with someone you really can compliment after a few years. I tell my girl she’s beautiful, that I’m lucky, that it’s only her, and that she makes me happy... and I mean every word of it. It’s the only relationship where I don’t have to lie.
You both need to try in a relationship.
Mostly, it's about putting in the time and effort. Of course, you both have to be willing to do that
Make sure to keep things feeling fresh (i.e. lots of surprises and trying new things).
Surprise her randomly out of the blue.
Do stuff youve never done before, or that one of you has done but not the other.
My mrs has never seen stars properly, she grew up in the city. And shes never seen snow IRL. Those are some things im gonna take her to do when we get the time.
Keep doing the romantic things you did when you first started dating.
Despite my wife and I having a big argument. When I ordered some baby formula, I also bought her her favorite ben and jerry’s ice cream.
We actively plan out dates or leave time for ourselves.
I kiss her at random times and tell her how beautiful she is.
Never stop being romantic and the romance will never die.
Literally just never stop dating them.
Date her. Just freaking date her. You know those things you used to do when you got started? Do them again. For me, that means going dancing together at the club, doing projects together, and similar. To you, that'll mean something else entirely. But do whatever that is.
Uh, poop in front of her...?
I poop in front of my SO. Oddly enough she finds my comfort and regularity attractive.
You know, as weird as that last one sounds, honestly, a relationship where you can't feel comfortable enough to poop in front of your bae is one in which I want no part, so, like, PREACH.
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