At some point in your dating life, you'll probably have to deal with rejecting someone. Whether it's someone at a bar whose advances you simply ignore, or someone you've been on a few dates with but just aren't feeling a connection with, rejection (both given and received) is a part of dating. Obviously, it's never fun to reject someone or call things off, but if you're wondering how to let someone down easy, it's not as difficult as you might think. According to several experts, letting someone down with kindness is totally possible, and actually fairly easy.
Turns out, letting someone down might be more of an issue for you than for the other person involved. "The truth is letting someone down 'easy' is about you more than them," Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, tells Elite Daily. "It has more to do with your fear of confrontation, or hurting someone else, or dealing with any discomfort in yourself," she explains. It's a harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.
Basically, if "you're in a relationship that is not the best fit for you, you are delaying both of your relationship happiness" by not addressing it, Silva says. If you know you need to end things, but aren't sure how, then Silva has some tips.
First of all, it's crucial to remember that there’s "nothing wrong with someone emoting or being angry or heartbroken," Silva says. "It is among the most transformative experiences in life because it allows you to be better prepared for a healthy relationship." Accept your emotions, accept theirs, and be prepared to explain your reasoning.
"Be honest about your experience with them, but focus more on your reasons for not wanting to delude the person into a non-relationship," Silva adds. "Focus less on character flaws or instances because those reasons might be perfectly fine for someone else, but it can cause the person to internalize negative feelings about who they are as a person." For example, don't say that you want to end things because they have a bad sense of humor, as Silva advises, but instead explain that you don't think the two of you vibe well together. It's a nicer way of getting the point across, in short.
Perhaps the most important thing when it comes to letting someone down easy is to be honest, as Pricilla Martinez, online life coach at Blush, tells Elite Daily. "Let them know that you are unable to meet their long-term needs or desires," she explains. "Answer their questions as long as they are within reason. Do it face-to-face when possible. Think about how you would want someone to end a relationship with you."
Put yourself in the other person's shoes, and you'll understand what Martinez means. If you were into someone but they didn't feel the same way, would you want them to just ghost you? Or lie and say that they aren't ready for a serious relationship before finding a new SO in a week? Probably not.
At the end of the day, "Most people prefer honesty over having their feelings protected (like children) because honesty assumes respect," sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr tells Elite Daily. "With honesty, you're saying 'I respect you and therefore believe that you should know what is truly going on,'" she says.
As the saying goes, honesty truly is the best policy, so try to be as honest and respectful as possible when you let someone down, even if you only went on one date. You might not know how attached they really are to you, and nothing sucks more than being ghosted by someone you really thought you had a connection with.