Rarely do we get to decide that we are going to fall in love, but we always get to choose how we want to proceed with our feelings. That's why it's so important to figure out how to know you're falling in love, especially when it is with somebody who will never be able to love you back. Just because you have feelings for someone, doesn't automatically make them the right person for you. If you are in love with somebody who doesn't share the depths of your feelings, it's important to protect your heart and recognize that you can't force anything about your relationship to change.
There are tons of reasons why somebody may not be able to love you back. Maybe they are simply not open to love right now. Maybe they are going through a difficult period of transition in their life and need to be focused on themselves. Or maybe they are open to experiencing love, but due to chemistry, timing, or plain old incompatibility, it simply isn't going to happen with you. This doesn't mean that you are unlovable or not worthy of being with someone who cares for you. All it means is that you have to find that tenderness and care somewhere else.
Here's how to know that the person you are falling for isn't going to love you back, so it's time to GTFO of there now.
When you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you probably think about them all the time, while they rarely hold space in their brain for you. Again, that's not because there is anything wrong with you. That's simply where their head and heart are at.
If someone does have feelings for you, they generally pay attention to what you share with them and will ask follow-up questions because they are interested in you and what goes on in your days. Someone who doesn't share your depth of feelings probably won't remember the little things you tell them. They won't pick up on the details of your conversation and might not remember to follow up with you days later.
When you have feelings for someone who doesn't hold the same for you, they won't have that much room for you in their life. They might care about you, but they prioritize their family and friends over spending time with you. They might be hard to get on the phone or wait days to text you back.
Of course, some people just aren't that communicative. Someone could have feelings for you but simply be bad at responding to texts. It's much more important to gauge whether or not you actually spend quality time together, or if your love interest repeatedly blows you off. If it's the latter, then my advice is to stop making someone else a priority and work on better prioritizing yourself.
When someone is not in love with you, you're not going to be a part of the plans they have for themselves. They might talk in front of you about their plans for post-graduation, their desires to move to a different city, or even where they want to go on spring break without a thought for how it might affect you. You're just not on their radar like that.
If someone isn't including you in their future plans, then consider that an invitation from the universe to begin focusing on yourself. What do you really want out of your life? What can you do over the next few years of your life to set you on a course to achieving it? You'll never be able to control how another person feels about you, but you can control where you put your feelings. Maybe if you channel all of the passion and energy you put toward that other person back into yourself, you'll be able to find what you really want. And when that happens, you're all the more likely to find the person who wants to be with you for you. It's not a magic love potion, but hey, it's still worth a try.
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