For many people, going away to college provides them with their first real opportunity to explore their sexuality. This newfound freedom is exhilarating, but there are some minor obstacles to work around — namely the dorm rooms themselves. With roommates, twin XL-sized mattresses, and super thin walls, figuring out how to have sex in a college dorm room (and actually enjoy it) can be challenging. Your RA will give you the low-down on fire safety and underage drinking, but there are some tips you have to learn on your own.
Consider this your unofficial syllabus for dorm sex 101. In this introductory lesson, I'll cover the terms you need to know (sexiling, anyone?). Once you've mastered the vocabulary, I'll provide you with tried-and-true hacks for acing this hands-on course. I assure you, this is one seminar that has real-world applications. Oh, and you are encouraged to practice outside of class. Just remember to be safe.
To start, I'll be covering sexiling. This is an act in which one roommate banishes the other from their shared living space in order to hook up. It's not the classiest of moves, but if and when it happens to you, try to keep in mind that the situation will likely be reversed down the road. In addition to practicing patience and respect, here are five other smart suggestions for having sex in college, from women who have been there.
I'm not sure any way is 100 percent foolproof [for not getting caught], but I would definitely say having blankets on hand to cover up is always a good idea, especially if you're already in a scenario where you would be using them, like watching a movie. It's also better if you and your roommate don't have the bunk bed set-up, because it's a lot more challenging the closer they are. A twin bed can fit two people to sleep, and while it's not super comfy, it is manageable as long as neither of you are restless sleepers who might get too near the edge. It's great for people who love cuddling though, because you'll be so close!
— Alexa, 24
I would say the best hacks for avoiding getting caught by your roommate are to have sex when they're asleep, and to learn their schedule, so you know when you can have sex without them coming home. Honestly, depending on the closeness with your roommate, you could even tell her that you're going to be be having sex at a specific time, so she knows not to come home.
— Elizabeth*, 22
If you're sharing a twin bed, pull the bed about one to two inches away from the wall, and then put a pillow against the wall at about shoulder-level. (Don't pull the bed so far out that the pillow falls, you want it to be able to gently rest on the bed frame.) The person on the inside will more or less fall into the little crevice created by the bed and the wall, but it'll be way comfier since you've got the pillow on one side and snuggles on the other.
— Lilli, 30
I feel like if you're brave enough, you can try any sex position in a twin XL, but you can never go wrong with missionary and doggy. As for sleeping comfortably in a twin XL, it's going to be tight, but if you and your partner are cuddlers, you're set.
— Elizabeth*, 22
You can always have something on the door and make a code for your roommate to know that if [that object is on or] by the door, do not enter... or enter at your own risk and don't be shocked by what you find!
— Stefani Threadgill, PhD, LMFT, LCDC, sex therapist and sexologist at the Sex Therapy Institute
Navigating sex in college is messy, awkward, and far from perfect — but that's what makes it so much fun.
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