My freshman year of college, I definitely walked in on my roommate having sex with her boyfriend. I thought they were just spooning, but nope, they were boning in the bottom bunk. For this reason, and because school is back in session now, it's important to know how to have sex in a dorm so that you don't annoy your roommate, but you still get your freak on your freshman year. And let's just say, dorm room sex is an exquisite art.
Not only does living with someone else interrupt your sex life, but the awkward environment of a dorm room also provides a pretty big hurdle. Walking to a common bathroom so you can pee after sex so you don't get a UTI is walk of shame-adjacent. (Let's rename the "walk of shame" to a "victory lap," BTW.) Having sex in a bunk bed or a small twin bed is not the most glamorous of places to get intimate and can be prone to disaster if you're drunk. (Read: It's easy to fall off.) The walls are also thin, so you can't be too loud, and there's the chance that someone will walk in any minute. Hanging a sock on the door just doesn't cut it. This isn't an '80s movie or something.
So here are four quiet, simple sex positions you can do in your dorm room. Because being in college shouldn't prevent you from being horny. It's the horniest time ever!
1. The Computer Sit
For the computer sit, your partner sits at the computer, pretending to look at something interesting, like a movie or a YouTube video. Then, you sit on their lap and ride them, reverse cowgirl style.
In order to do this position effectively, you both need to be fully clothed. Your partner should be wearing pants, with his fly unzipped, member out, and you should be wearing a skirt or dress, underwear off or to the side. That way, if anyone comes in, you can just look like you're sitting on your significant other's lap, watching the computer.
Is this a genius position? Yes, I think so.
2. The Top Bunk
It's a scientific fact that having sex on the top bunk is better than having sex on the bottom bunk because there's less chance of you being caught. However, there's also a greater risk of you getting a concussion due to bashing your head into the ceiling, so your sex positions while getting down on that second floor are limited.
If you're top-bunk boning, a quiet missionary position is the best way to engage in quiet, simple sex in your dorm room. Put a blanket over you and your partner, and you can even do it while your roommate is in the room, if you're a freak like that. TBH, I'm pretty sure my college roommate and her BF did that all the time. Gross, in hindsight, but she got away with it at the time!
3. Doggy Over Desk
If you know your roomie will be gone for a bit, then a little quickie while bent over your work desk is a great way to utilize your dorm space while getting off at the same time.
Have your partner bend you over your table while doing you from behind, doggy style. However, it's important that your door is locked, and you clean off your table when you're finished. You want to be courteous of your roommate, after all.
4. The Private Shower
If you're blessed with a bathroom in your dorm room, then make the most of it by taking a couples shower while your roommate is busy on the computer or deep into a Netflix binge. It's a great place to get some personal space, and shower sex requires little to no clean up.
Additionally, water sounds will cover up any noises that you and your partner might make, so you can get a little wilder than usual. Just make sure you both wear sandals while doing it. Foot fungus runs rampant in the bathrooms of college campuses. HOW SEXY!
So even if you're living in a dorm room, there's no reason you can't have an active sex life. Bone in that bunk bed, and have sex in the shower! Just make sure your roommate is nowhere in sight.
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