I think I speak for all us here when I say the scene in the first Princess Diaries, when the popular boy literally doesn't see Anne Hathaway and sits on her, faintly lingers in my brain whenever I have a new crush. From a young age it's common to wonder how to get someone you like to notice you. Whether you're totally in love with your cute coworker or if you've been going to the same coffee place at the same time every week (even thought you don't drink coffee) just to lock eyes with the busboy — knowing how to get your crush's attention can feel everything from daunting to hopeless to totally intimidating.
Of course, you are a shining angel that anyone would be lucky to be with. While movies (like the iconic P-Diaries) may show insane makeovers and all sorts of scheming to get someone's attention — as cheesy as it sounds, to get your crush to notice you, all you have to do is be yourself.
And if you're like, "what the heck does that even mean?," here are five other tips to get your crush's attention (and another reminder to be yourself).
1. Take (Healthy!) Risks
Of course, if your crush doesn't really know you or doesn't know you're into them, taking a healthy risk — like saying hi or asking them a question can start a conversation that can ultimately lead to a connection. Taking healthy risks doesn't mean doing anything unsafe or uncomfortable, it just means getting out of your comfort zone a little. Surprise your cute coworker with a coffee! Ask the waiter for their number! Text that person first! Taking healthy risk can be a great way to get a crush's attention.
2. Put Yourself Out There
Putting yourself out there is another totally great way to get someone's attention. Who knows? Your crush may have a mutual crush on you, and like you, is feeling nervous to make a move. Of course, it's important to stay true to yourself and to be mindful of healthy boundaries and other's comfort levels. Trying to surprise kiss someone or dance up on them without asking permission isn't just awkward — it's not consensual. Putting yourself out there doesn't mean forcing anything or making anyone uncomfy, but it could mean texting someone first or telling someone you'd like to take them to dinner.
3. Take The Initiative
If it's your crush's birthday or if you know the cute barista loves the same bands as you — taking initiative could be a great way to catch their eye. Maybe you make your crush a cute card or you ask the waiter if he has plans. Maybe you're feeling totally fearless and you literally tell someone that you have feelings for them. Taking initiative means embracing some healthy vulnerability, and expressing to your crush that you're interested in seeing where things go with them.
4. Be Patient & Open-Minded
When it comes to finding love, you really can't rush anything or plan anything to a tee. Maybe your crush would want to hang out in a chill way for a while before turning up the heat, or maybe they're down to casually date but aren't in a place to seriously commit. As long as everyone is communicating their intentions and being transparent about their needs, dating can look different for everyone. Still, the only way to find out where you crush is at is to talk to them and give them time and space to process. If you and your crush are looking for different things, embracing some patience can allow you both to express what type of relationships you're looking for. If you're on the same page, being patient let an organic connection happen.
5. Be Yourself
IMHO, this is the only tip that matters. Although rom-coms depict all sorts of high-jinks and tricks to get your crush to hangout with you, at the end of the day all you have to do is be yourself. Although it may be difficult to remain calm if your stomach is full of butterflies, you don't need to feel sheepish about making that dad joke or embarrassed that you're always late to everything. Showing your crush your truest self is the best way to get them to see you — all of you. Which, if you eventually date is going to come out anyway. (Hello overnight retainer and hemorrhoid cream.) You are amazing just as you are in this moment and the right person won't need a plot or a plan to figure that out.
If you have a total crush or if you're starting to catch feelings for someone in your life, getting them to notice you can feel totally daunting. If you're feeling spicy, try asking them for coffee or leaving them a cute note. When it comes to finding love, there's nothing wrong with taking some healthy risk or embracing some vulnerability. If you're really trying to get your crush to notice you, all you have to do is be yourself, because you're doing enough and you are enough — just as you are right now.