After a breakup, when you get to the point where you don't know how to get over someone when you're still thinking about them all the time, that's actually an amazing step toward moving on. Remember at the beginning of the breakup, when you absolutely refused for it to be over? Remember when you were in denial, still thinking that you would be able to work it out?
Well, getting to the point where you don't want to be thinking about them anymore means that, eventually, you won't be. If you've spent a lot of time with somebody, it makes sense that it would take a minute for them to leave your thoughts.
If you're trying to figure out how to get over someone while you are still thinking about them, try not to focus so much on the fact that they still occupy your mind. The more you focus on it, the more you are going to circle back around to that same anxiety. Allow your thoughts to go where they may, and actually pay attention to when your thoughts about your ex come up. Do they surface when you see something that reminds you of them? Or do they enter your thought patterns when you are stressed about something else? Here are some other tips to follow.
1. Start Thinking About Anything Else
It can be easier to fret about the person who broke up with you than it is to think about concerns that impact your day to day: your money, your job, or that stressful phone call you had with your mom. When you start to notice when you are thinking about your ex, you'll probably notice that it happens when there's something in your life that's causing you trouble. Rather than focusing on your ex, try to improve that one thing.
Think about how you are doing, instead of wondering how they are. Are you eating enough? How are you sleeping? Did you drink enough water today? How is your skin care regimen going? When you re-channel your thoughts back into yourself, you realize that all of that energy you were using up while trying to force yourself to get over someone can actually be reinvested in yourself.
2. Reinvest In You
Try doing something nice for yourself every time you find yourself worrying or thinking about your ex. It is a way to signify to your brain that you're not thinking about them — you are thinking about you.
Are you thinking about your ex so much because you still live in the same place where you dated? Go out of town, if you can. If you aren't in a position to travel right now, try rearranging the furniture in your room. You'll be surprised how much of your memory is attached to visual reminders.
Try cleaning out your inventory of any objects that might remind you of them, as well. Even if you don't want to get rid of them, you can at least put them away until you're in a place where every little thing won't remind you of them.
3. Notice The Passage Of Time
The neat thing about getting really busy with investing in your own quality of life is that time begins to pass more quickly. This doesn't happen at first, because you're used to the everyday struggle of trying to get over someone. But when you stop struggling, and just start to be, you find that there is so much more to occupy your thoughts than just the memory of your breakup.
When you look up, a little bit later, you'll probably find that the relationship is further behind you than you imagined. And you'll be surprised by how much has changed since your breakup. At some point, you'll reach the stage where you know that you loved each other when you were together, but it would never work out now, and that your breakup is an OK thing.
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