Some people are just really difficult to let go of.
That’s one of the lasting side effects of having loved someone. The more intoxicating the love, the more difficult it will be to let go of it all and move on with your life. You’re not going to want to let go because you remember how good it once was and believe it could be that good again. You still have hope that things may one day change.
And you’re right. Things will surely change, but how they will change likely won’t align with the way you’re hoping things will change. But I’m just speaking from personal experience.
Even when you come to accept that it is time to move on, it’s not always easy to move on. The question of “why?" keeps popping into your mind. Why did things have to end this way?
I’m here to tell you it doesn’t matter why. Things ended the way they ended because that’s the way they ended. You can pick apart and learn from your mistakes, but past that, there isn’t anything else to learn from the circumstance.
It’s important to understand not everything happens for a reason. I know this goes against what most of us have been taught to believe, but the reality is some things didn’t need to happen but happened nonetheless. And all we can do is learn from our mistakes and work toward a better, more fulfilling future for ourselves.
If we hold onto the belief that everything happens for a reason, it becomes impossible to let go of our past. It's true that our past stays with us in one way or another, but if we wish to one day feel alive again, we must shift our focus into the future. We must focus on action.
Give it time.
Time does heal all wounds. How much time, however, depends on the individual. If this is someone you never imagined yourself moving on from, then you’re probably going to need more time than you imagine.
I know I sure as hell did. But move on you shall. In the end, we all do -- as long as we allow ourselves to.
Don’t rush it. Don’t rush moving on. Don’t rush into another relationship. Just slow down a bit, and let time pass on by for a moment. Breathe.
Understand why you two aren’t going to work out and get closure.
Closure is understanding why you two aren’t going to work. Regardless of whether you were dumped or were the one doing the dumping, if you’re still hung up on this person, then you’re going to need to do some reasoning with yourself.
He's bad for you. You’re bad for each other. You missed your chance. The timing was just never right. Or maybe, you just don’t have it in you to keep on trying.
They say if it’s true love, you’ll never stop trying. But that isn’t true. Sometimes you need to give up because doing so is the only way to save yourself.
Find the reason you need to let go, and hang on to that instead.
Shift your mental focus from him or her and onto yourself.
Minds drift, so we need to be sure to catch them and recenter our focus. Remember that you are the most important person in your life. That’s the way it was since the day you were born, and that’s the way it’s going to be until the day you die.
This doesn’t mean you can’t find someone in your life who's equally as important, but it does mean you need to let go of those that are hurting numero uno.
Get out of your head for a little bit. Don’t do something stupid, but do something. Don’t let your thoughts drown you; focus on the physical world.
When you begin to lose hope, focus on the numbers of it all.
While time does heal all wounds, it can also form new ones.
Letting go of someone who meant the world to you isn’t a simple task. Getting yourself to the point where you’re ready to seriously date other people is difficult. But what’s even more difficult is realizing that finding someone worthwhile isn’t as easy as you expected it to be.
If your ex was an amazing person, you’re not going to be capable of settling for less. You’ll need time and luck to meet another great candidate. The loneliness will surely kick in, but just remember that while there are billions of people on this planet, there are tens of thousands of potential candidates for the average individual.
The odds aren’t too bad if you’ve managed to take great care of yourself since you broke up.
Understand that it’s all part of the learning experience.
To live is to learn, so as long as you’re doing that, you’re doing a good job. You need to try and find some comfort in that.
I know that experience can’t keep you warm at night, but it’s the hardships in life that make us the best we can be. Of course, it’s these same hardships that so often lead us down a dark path in life, but what good is a life without any adventure?
Be your story’s superhero. Be your champion. Do the things you want to do, and live life the way you want to live it. In the end, it’s up to us to make something both of ourselves and of our lives.
Romantic love is a beautiful thing, but it’s really only the icing on the cake.