How To Get Over Someone Who Was Never Yours, As Told By Real Women

Up until my current relationship, I was consistently single. Now, to be clear, this doesn't mean that I didn't have any traces of romance in my life. In fact, looking back on it, there was always someone special in my life. It was basically a long series of almost-relationships and, if you've ever had one of those, you know they're more difficult to get over than any other form of relationship. If you're wondering how to get over someone you never dated, read these Reddit AskWomen responses from ladies who have managed to do it on their own.

It's just like getting over a real relationship.

Mostly the same way you get over an actual relationship honestly. Just time and finding other things to do with yourself.


Accept the situation and move forward.

move on. there's no good that comes from hoping for more or wondering what could have been. it's a bit of a mindf*ck i know, but there really are people who can sleep with you, do couple-y things with you, and not want anything more. i don't understand it, but one thing i had to accept is that not everyone sees things the way i do, and i can't force them or get to thinking there's something wrong with me because my worldview is not shared.


Give yourself a reality check but don't give up hope for the future.

It's realising that you didn't share love, you had an admiration/infatuation/attraction towards them but they didn't feel the same way back. There is someone out there that will love you the way you love them and feel all those things about you. They should be your focus.


Find someone new to focus your attention on.

I know this is easier said than done, but move on, deliberately. Don’t give them your time and attention. Find someone else, socialize, and remind yourself of all the other fish in the sea.


Give it time. took me 8 years, I kept living my life with the pain and ran into him and realized I had a very rich life that didn't match his and realized how incompatible we really were.


Phase them out of your life completely.

detach from them. don’t text them everyday, don’t check to see what they’re up to... the first few days maybe even the first week is superrrrrr difficult. but after that it gets easier. just do it step by step. it’s hard because you were never together, but there was something there that kept you around, so don’t punish yourself for feeling too much without a relationship. just focus on regrouping.


Wait until you fall in love with someone new.

Men call this the one that got away. Almost everyone has one. Something about the fact that you never got what you wanted from that person makes them all the more difficult to forget. The short answer is to move on and try and find someone new, the long answer is that you never completely forget about people who were important to you but once you find someone new, they can easily become more important too you than anyone from your past.
Maybe you will cross paths with this person again, but maybe it simply wasn't meant to be. I think the one that got away is a good lesson for a lot of people about appreciating what you have when you have it.


Remember there's someone who actually respects you out there.

When it creeps into your mind just remind yourself that there is someone who DOES want a relationship waiting for someone like you.


You have to respect their decision.

You respect their decision and realize the friend zone does in fact not exist. If they say no, then you value them enough to be friends and you continuing living your lives with different boundaries.


The final takeaway here? Well, just because it wasn't a "real relationship" doesn't mean it won't be difficult to get over. Do yourself a favor and treat it like a real breakup.

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