How To Get Over Someone Who Was Never Yours, As Told By Real Women

Updated:

Up until my current relationship, I was consistently single. Now, to be clear, this doesn't mean that I didn't have any traces of romance in my life. In fact, looking back on it, there was always someone special in my life. It was basically a long series of almost-relationships and, if you've ever had one of those, you know they're more difficult to get over than any other form of relationship. If you're wondering how to get over someone you never dated, read these Reddit AskWomen responses from ladies who have managed to do it on their own.

Getting over someone you never "officially" dated might seem like an impossible task, but there actually are some concrete steps you can take to make it a little easier. Dating expert and relationship columnist Jen Kirsch advises getting rid of any trace of them on social media. Kirsch previously told Elite Daily, "To gain control of not being affected by their actions, whereabouts et al, either unfollow them, delete them, or use the special features on apps to remove them from popping up on your feeds." After you've hidden them from your daily view, you can also follow the advice of real women who have gone through the experience of getting over a relationship that never was.

It's just like getting over a real relationship.

I think you 100% have a right to be upset and feel an internal feeling of upset and be upset that things didn’t go in the way you desired. This being said, I don’t find it as fair to be upset with the other person thereby feeling animosity towards them assuming they were respectful, honest, and transparent. However, if someone really led you on and toyed with your emotions, then you’d likely be upset and upset with them and I’d say it’s justified. Upset to me is a personal feeling so you should feel secure in feeling upset however you choose so long as you don’t harm yourself or others. This is just my point of view, I hope it resonates with you!

u/ShinySceptile

Accept the situation and move forward.

move on. there's no good that comes from hoping for more or wondering what could have been. it's a bit of a mindf*ck i know, but there really are people who can sleep with you, do couple-y things with you, and not want anything more. i don't understand it, but one thing i had to accept is that not everyone sees things the way i do, and i can't force them or get to thinking there's something wrong with me because my worldview is not shared.

/u/todayonbloopers

Give yourself a reality check but don't give up hope for the future.

It's realising that you didn't share love, you had an admiration/infatuation/attraction towards them but they didn't feel the same way back. There is someone out there that will love you the way you love them and feel all those things about you. They should be your focus.

/u/snazzicles

Find someone new to focus your attention on.

I know this is easier said than done, but move on, deliberately. Don’t give them your time and attention. Find someone else, socialize, and remind yourself of all the other fish in the sea.

/u/NotJokingAround

Give it time.

Unfortunately, time is the only way to get over it. I've been there and in many ways, it's more painful than a break up with a partner because there's was no real closure. For me, a big part of moving on meant deleting their number and all of their social media.

u/smolpupper17

While there's no perfect timetable for how long it will take to get over someone, Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, says there are signs you're moving forward. Leckie told Elite Daily, you may "literally just realize that you went a whole day without thinking of them."

Phase them out of your life completely.

Aha this is relieving to read about, I am in the same situation now. It's been over a month and slowly getting over it. It really helps to completely remove this person from your life, truly. Otherwise, it's just heartbreak to see their name or face anywhere. It's also helped that I have socialized more with peers and friends. It also helps that I will be moving to a different state in a couple months for grad school, I am focusing my efforts towards my projects, despite the longing despair, it is slowly fading away. Don't expect a quick result. Best of luck.

u/ethereal-entropy

Wait until you fall in love with someone new.

It's realising that you didn't share love, you had an admiration/infatuation/attraction towards them but they didn't feel the same way back. There is someone out there that will love you the way you love them and feel all those things about you. They should be your focus.

u/snazzicles

Remember there's someone who actually respects you out there.

When it creeps into your mind just remind yourself that there is someone who DOES want a relationship waiting for someone like you.

/u/grewish89

You have to respect their decision.

You respect their decision and realize the friend zone does in fact not exist. If they say no, then you value them enough to be friends and you continuing living your lives with different boundaries.

/u/Hellomellowme

The final takeaway here? Well, just because it wasn't a "real relationship" doesn't mean it won't be difficult to get over. Do yourself a favor and treat it like a real breakup.

This article was originally published on