Getting dumped is always harsh, but perhaps no more than during the holidays. It's particularly hard to figure out how to get over someone when your Great Aunt Flo is sitting across from you at the Christmas table, asking how a nice, cute person like you is still single. Plus, if you have married older siblings, all of those nieces and nephews running around can make you feel like a dried-up old husk post-breakup. And if you're home with your parents, there are limited distractions to take your mind off of that jerk who just destroyed your entire life.
Even though the holidays might be a particularly sucky time to get outsted from a relationship, the old rules for getting over somebody still apply. Getting absolutely hammered on spiked egg nog is not a good excuse to call your ex up drunkenly sobbing, nor should you post Instagram selfies of you hooking up with the mall Santa just to prove you're moving on. Taking good care of yourself and your heartbreak, limiting your online interaction, and spending extra quality time with friends and close family members can help you heal in a hurry, so you're back to yourself by New Year's. Here's how to move on without letting the holidays hold you back:
1. Do A Social Media Cleanse
There's nothing more counterproductive for getting over a breakup than stalking your ex on social media. Jen Kirsch, dating expert and relationship columnist, told Elite Daily that continuing to follow your ex is basically a recipe for heartbreak. We've all been there, scanning their photos for a clue of who might be in the background. But don't go there.
"To gain control of not being affected by their actions or whereabouts, either unfollow them, delete them, or use the special features on apps to remove them (and even their closest friends!) from popping up on your feeds," said Kirsch.
Honestly, not much is happening on the internet over the holidays anyway. You might try removing all of your social media apps from your phone if you want to really hit reset.
2. Go Out With Your Friends
Did you want to do a lot of cute holiday things with your partner that now feel totally null and void since the breakup? Why not take your friends on those dates you had planned instead? Nine times out of 10, ice skating with your besties is just as fun and silly as a romantic outing. You probably even have a friend who's too far away from home to make it back for Christmas. Invite them to tag along with you to your family gathering, if you're still wishing you had a date.
According to Kirsch, not only will being with your friends take your mind off things, but it might even help you meet someone who's actually good for you. "Being out with your buds and putting the idea of someone out of mind will allow you to attract likeminded mates," she said.
3. Don't Overanalyze
It's OK to be sad about your breakup. It's OK to wallow for a few days. It's even OK to eat an entire tub of ice cream. But it's not OK when you get trapped in your own thoughts, spiraling and spiraling around the last conversations you had with your ex, the blows you both hurled at one another, and what you wish you could have done differently. The reason it's not OK is that, when you let your thoughts get away from you like that, it's really damaging to your own wellbeing.
It might be difficult, but try to focus on other things. If you're taking a trip to see family, consider it a welcome reprieve from your normal routine. You might get bored while you are at home, but try and use it as an opportunity to bond with your mom or your dad, or catch up with friends you haven't seen since high school. As soon as you stop thinking about your breakup, you'll be surprised how much energy you let it consume from you. And then, you will actually be that much closer to finally, completely moving on.
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