The most wonderful time of the year is unfortunately over, and now, we're left with the bleakest time of the year. It is so brutally cold that my only activity in 24 hours has been purchasing a space heater, and I did that on my phone while buried under a pile of blankets, instead of going to the home goods store literally one block away. At this point in the winter, snuggling up next to a warm body is just plain common sense. It's a survival tactic. If you're worried about how to find a cuff for cuffing season before the temps thaw, don't — there's still plenty of time.
Disclaimer: You don't ever need to lock someone down for cuffing season. Warm socks, a hot mug of tea, and a good space heater will probably keep you pretty toasty throughout the cold months. And unlike a winter fling, they'll never use the last of your toilet paper and forget to replace the roll. So, like, do you even need a cuff? Nah.
That said, it's totally natural to want to couple up, especially right now. There's actual science behind cuffing season: Testosterone levels spike during this time of year, making people crave sex more than ever; at the same time, melatonin levels in the brain peak, which makes chilling at home more attractive than going out to meet new people, Match’s chief scientific advisor, Dr. Helen Fisher told Elite Daily.
Before the melatonin totally swamps your brain for good, consider these 15 ways to meet your next winter cuff. And just to stoke your laziest tendencies, a couple of these methods can be pulled off from the comfort of your own couch, next to your very own space heater.
1. Ask the hottie at the bookstore for recommendations.
Maybe I'm just a giant nerd, but the prospect of a meet-cute in the stacks is literally the cutest sh*t I've ever dreamed up in my life. Also, this is the easiest opening line ever — you're welcome.
2. Go to a scotch tasting.
True story: I once went to a scotch tasting specifically to meet guys and walked away with a phone number (plus a newfound appreciation for Glenlivet). The men at the event all agreed: It was a huge sausage-fest.
3. Chat up the person next to you in line.
My friend met a hottie at the post office this way once, so I know it works! If you're nervous about striking up a conversation, just remember that the line is only temporary, so you won't be stuck talking to a stranger for-ev-er.
4. Slide into your crush's DMs.
I promised you could find your cuff from your couch. Smash that heart-eye emoji on their most recent Instagram Story and you're all good.
5. Meet someone après-ski at the lodge.
IT WORKED FOR TROY AND GABRIELLA, OK?!
6. Meet someone at karaoke.
7. Go to a bar by yourself.
This is intimidating for either the first 15 minutes or the first half of your drink (whichever comes first), but once you say hi to the hottie seated to your left, liquid courage will keep the conversation going. This works best at a bar with something lively going on, like sports on TV, beer pong, or darts.
8. Ask your friend to set you up.
This is how I once wound up making out with a cowboy at a tiki bar.
9. Take a ballroom dancing class.
Salsa or swing, take your pick. I'm secretly convinced these classes are just thinly-veiled speed-dating events.
10. Actually go to a speed-dating event.
I feel like this could actually be kind of fun?
11. Strike up a conversation with the hot person seated next to you on an airplane.
If you flag down the stewardess and order a mini-bottle of wine, this is basically a date.
12. Call up an ex.
Not the ex who destroyed your soul. The other ex — the one you went out with a few times who's aware of the approximate location and function of the clitoris and has passwords to multiple streaming services.
13. Slip your number to the hot barista you flirt with every morning.
I will see you at your wedding.
14. Go to a rando's party.
You know how you sometimes get Facebook invitations to a birthday party for a person you met three years ago and haven't spoken to since? Go. It's not weird for you to show up, because the host wouldn't have invited you if they didn't want to see you there. And you're bound to meet tons of new people.
You knew this was coming. Just saying, this option costs a whole lot less than a space heater would, and it's way more entertaining.
It doesn't matter if you'd rather meet someone IRL or through your phone. The important thing is to keep putting yourself out there by striking up conversations and making the first move. It's 2018, and who knows how long it'll be before global warming swallows us all whole? To quote half the dating app bios you swipe left on: You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take.
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