Relationships

Here’s How Long You Should Date Before Taking A Partner As A Plus One, Experts Say

by Tayi Sanusi

One of the best parts about having a bae is that you never have to worry about locking down a plus one for events. But, when you're dating someone new, it's also important to be aware of pacing and avoid rushing things. So, how long should you wait before taking a partner as a plus one? Well, the exact length of time may vary from relationship to relationship and depend on the specifics of the event in question.

NYC-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter recommends first considering whether or not the event is in line with the types of venues your new date would feel most comfortable in. "Inviting your new date as a plus one is a brilliant idea, given they meet the criteria for the event," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Pre-select events that would be appropriate for what you know of your new partner. If they feel awkward in formal events, then pass on those types of invitations. If you feel they'd be a lot of fun at a wedding, say yes to those types of opportunities."

It's also important to realize that not every type of person is going to be comfortable tagging along to your best friend's wedding, especially early on. Winter also notes that any high-stakes situations, like work or business events, should be approached with caution. "If it's a high stakes event where you'll be judged by the company you keep, then pass if you have the slightest concerns," warns Winter. "If it's a serious business dinner where there's a specific form of dialogue or interaction, make sure your date is a good conversationalist and can hold their own in this type of crowd."

When it comes to more relaxed settings like dinner parties or barbecues, bringing a new partner doesn't need to be a huge deal and can happen as soon as you both feel comfortable being viewed as a unit. "Inviting your date to be your plus one is a great excuse to have a third or fourth date," says Winter. "You will get to see how the two of you flow together as a team and interact with others as a couple."

Before extending an invitation to someone you've recently started seeing, be prepared for the possibility that they aren't ready to take that step. Although it's normal to feel bummed if someone you're dating has decided to pass on being your plus one, according to Winter, this isn't necessarily a reason to panic. "If they turn you down, it may have more to do with the nature of the event, than a reflection upon their feelings toward you," explains Winter. "They may feel uncomfortable with the venue and declining your invitation may have to do with their fear of letting you down."

Ultimately, if a new partner is excited by the idea of hanging out with you in a group setting, then this is a solid opportunity to see if they fit into your life and friend group. As long as it's not too formal or professional, bringing along a new bae as your plus one after your first few dates is NBD.