You might be seeing someone new — maybe it’s been one or two dates, or maybe it’s been several months. Sometimes, you realize you enjoy spending time with them (or you wouldn’t still be hanging out), but you’re not sure what your feelings are. Do you like them? Do you want to be in relationship with them? Do you want to continue using their Netflix account? You might want to know if it can get more serious, and you might ask yourself, how do you figure out if you actually like someone? Not everything has to turn into a relationship — casual dating is totally fine if it’s what both of you want, but it's always good to know how you're feeling.
To answer that question, I asked several women who’ve been in the same place as you. Dating can be tough, and it’s really helpful to know how other people are navigating the same waters you're treading. Sometimes, knowing if you actually like someone is a feeling in your gut, sometimes you take guidance from your friends, or sometimes you journal about it. I’ve even trusted the universe before to tell me if I actually liked someone (“the universe” is what I call my therapist). You may have your own strategy for evaluating feelings, or you may be unsure, and this advice could help.
Read on to hear about women who’ve been in your shoes and figured out for themselves whether or not they liked someone.
If I scroll to their first Insta post, that’s a sign that I like them.
— Caitie, 26
There are so many ways I know. I try to subtly find out if they’ll be at events I’m going to, I stalk all our mutual friends on Facebook, my heart flutters if they like my post, I convince friends that their odd behaviors are cute. Basically, I want them close to me and look forward to running into them. Or if I’m excited to get a text from them. All ways to know if I like someone.
— Cynthia, 24
If you laugh at the same things and want to talk and hang out together all the time. I’ve been married 33 years.
— Katherine, 60
If they follow the ‘three day rule’ they’re f*cking out of there cause mama ain’t got time for games.
— Nancy, 31
If I want to figure out whether or not I like someone, I imagine one of my friends telling me she’s dating him. If it makes me mad or jealous, I think I like them. Sometimes, this happens in real life, and one of my friends does start dating him and I’m like, shoot, I should have made a move earlier.
— Sandra, 35
I can tell because whenever anything happens in my day, I want to tell them.
— Karen, 28
I know I like someone because the idea of checking their social media makes me nervous, as if they’re going to post ‘not into you’ on their Instagram.
— Claudia, 23
Whenever I wasn’t sure, I would try to spend alone time with them, and I pictured kissing them and how it would feel. Sometimes, I would even kiss them to see. I would read into the dreams I’d had of them more closely to see what my subconscious was thinking. More often than not, I would realize I didn’t like them if I had to question it so much though.
— Maisie, 22
Are any of these starting to sound true? If so, it’s possible you have caught feelings. But just remember, we’re all different, so something that’s a sign for one person might not be a sign for somebody else. Still, if you find yourself coming back to the same person over and over again (and it has to actually be a person, because you know you look at the same 12 corgi Instagram accounts every day), maybe it’s worth asking yourself if you’re starting to like them!
