Burns notices that going to a bar as a go-to date night could be an issue.
"It’s one thing if a glass of wine or beer helps you relax and unwind, but if you feel that you need to get wasted and use it as a crutch to connect with your partner, you may be lacking intimacy or covering for a greater sense of disconnection in your relationship," she says.
If you usually have group hangs for date nights with your partner, Burns says it's a red flag.
"You’re not carving out enough time for your relationship," she says. "It can be hard to balance both of your social circles on top of busy work schedules, but prioritizing time with your partner alone is essential in nurturing your connection, especially if your love language is quality time."
If you feel stuck in a rut, Burns suggests you and your partner create a "date night box," where you both input your own date ideas and switch off choosing the dates.
"Make it a positive experience, and realize that making your partner happy will make you happy in return," she says. "The whole point of a date night is to break out of your daily routine and any ruts, and to make time to connect. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions, or even blowing off date nights, then you’re likely not reaping as many benefits from them as you should be."
Burns says that "novelty" and "surprise" will allow you to feel most fulfilled in your date nights with your partner, as that will release dopamine, making you feel excited.
"Though some nights you may be too tired to do little more than takeout and a movie, try as much as possible to incorporate new experiences, such as going to a concert, comedy show, exploring a new city together, a dance lesson, cooking class, or exhibit," she says. "Toss in physical affection throughout the date for at least 20 seconds at a time, and you’ll activate the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone that keeps you feeling attached."
And hey, after the new and exciting date you can always go home with your partner to have a cozy part two of the date.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!