Here’s What It Means If Your Partner Forgets Your Birthday, Because That's, Uh, Kind Of Major
If your birthday is approaching and you want to celebrate, you're probably finalizing social plans, confirming dinner reservations, and wondering what your partner has in store to celebrate you this year. So, when your birthday finally arrives, and halfway through the day, bae hasn't even acknowledged it, it can be really disheartening. You may start wondering what it means if your partner forgets your birthday, and that's not exactly the warmest thought to have on your special day. While it can definitely be disappointing if they forget, the good news is it can mean several different things, some of which have nothing to do with your actual relationship.
Your first thought if your partner forgets your birthday may be that they don't care, but that's not necessarily always the case. "It can mean they are super busy, super uncaring, or you guys are super new at this," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Elite Daily. Though it can seem hard to believe and a little cliché, sometimes people miss really important dates or plans because they just have a lot on their mind. "Life can get in the way, and you aren't always going to be the first thing they think about," dating coach and relationship expert James Preece tells Elite Daily. "They might be worrying about something, so talk to them about this."
A big factor in whether or not your partner forgetting your birthday points to deeper issues in your relationship is how long the two of you have been together. "If you have just started dating, it's probably not a major issue," Preece says. "They might not have wanted to make too much of a fuss in case you thought they were overdoing it." If you've been together awhile, and they forget, it's still not automatically a bad thing. "If this person is otherwise the perfect partner, caring, and sweet, and you feel loved, then let it go, and don't make a big deal out of it," Trombetti advises. "Especially if they are truly upset they forgot. Let them try to make it up to you."
However, on the other hand, if they forget your birthday (regardless of how long you've been together), and they don't seem to care, that may mean something else is going on. "Actions speak louder than words, and this is good reason to dump someone," Trombetti says. "Everyone wants [and deserves] to feel loved and feel special, and if they fail to do this normally and on your birthday, this tells you all you need to know."
Essentially, what matters more is their reaction to forgetting your birthday, as opposed to the actual act of forgetting your birthday. Yes, the fact that they forgot is annoying and hurts your feelings, but they may have just been super busy or had a lot on their mind. If they show remorse and genuinely want to make it up to you, consider letting it go and accepting their apology. If they show no signs of feeling sorry, and have no intention of making it better, it might be time to have a more serious conversation about where you fall on their list of priorities.
The light at the end of the dark birthday tunnel is that you and your partner can work through it, if you're really upset and/or hurt that they forgot. "You just need to say how you have a need for someone to treat you special on your day and ask them why they forgot," Trombetti explains. "See what they say." It's very possible to understand how they could've forgotten, where they're coming from, and forgive them. If you sit down to have a constructive conversation, you can talk it out, she says.
An important thing to remember if your partner forgets your birthday is that, "everyone deserves one second chance," Preece points out. "But if you are giving them a chance, they have to absolutely make it up to you." You should feel loved and celebrated on your birthday, and every other day, but it's important to remember that your partner is human, and will make mistakes. So, if they're doing everything else right in your relationship, and they forget your birthday once, consider cutting them some slack and allow them to give you the birthday you truly deserve — even if it's a day late.