It's your first day in class, and before your math nerves can kick in, you notice the cutie sitting in the third row and you immediately feel drawn to them. You're not sure if it's the fact that they're wearing a Plain White T's t-shirt, or that you're both rocking the basic black JanSport backpack, but something about them has you itching to know more. That's when you may start to wonder how to get someone from class to notice you for the first time. Whether or not you're a shy person by nature, trying getting a new person's attention can seem a little nerve-wracking, but worry not. I spoke to a few experts, and they had some solid advice.
First and foremost, "if you find yourself interested in someone in your class, you want to create the circumstances that can optimize your ability to connect with them," Dr. Gary Brown, a dating and couples' therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily. One of the best ways to optimize that connection is to "make eye contact with the person you want to notice you," life coach Nina Rubin tells Elite Daily. "Simply smile at the person and hold eye contact a second longer than normal."
Once you've let your eyes linger a few times on the cutie from row three, they may be getting the hint that you're interested, or at the very least, attracted to them. At this point, try approaching them and starting a conversation. I know this is often easier said than done, but to start a conversation, just pull from your commonalities," Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge, tells Elite Daily. She recommends asking them, "What did you think of the exam last week? Hard, right?" or "Hey there [insert name here,] are you going to the [insert event here] this weekend? Looks like fun." You can bring up literally anything else you've noticed the two of you have in common, like if they wore a shirt with your favorite band or TV show on it. "Don't think of it as 'hitting on someone,'" she says, "but rather just striking up a conversation. See where things go from there."
On the other hand, if you haven't noticed anything the two of you have in common besides the class you're both in, that's OK. See "if they’d be interested in getting together to study," Rubin says. Or if they're already in a study group, Dr. Brown suggests you ask if you can join it, even if you don't really need the help. It can give you some time together outside of the classroom. "You can also hold back and walk out of the class around the same time as them," Rubin says. "Make yourself available."
Body language can also play a big part in how the person you're interested in sees you, Dr. Brown points out. "Hold your head high," he recommends. "Walk confidently, without seeming cocky, and try to give a sense of self-assurance while at the same time presenting yourself as both friendly and approachable." If they feel like you're a warm person, they may be more likely to feel comfortable talking to you. Another way to show them that you're approachable is to break the ice with some self-deprecating humor. It's "often appreciated and sends the message that you don’t take yourself too seriously," he states.
Ultimately, if you decide to go up to them, the best thing you can do is give off good vibes. "Be kind, friendly, smile, give good eye contact (without staring), and try a bit of flirting — people like that," Dr. Brown says. While approaching someone you don't know may seem like a scary thing, it doesn't have to be. Embrace your nerves and use them to your advantage. "They're nervous also," Rubin says. "Have the mindset that possibility awaits. Hold hope and be bold!"