If you watched the ABC Family show Greek or joined a sorority in college, you know that the process of getting lavaliered is a pretty big deal. It's like getting a promise ring, but even more meaningful. Some people take it so seriously that they don't do it unless they are seriously considering marriage and being together long-term. So, it's natural to wonder: Does getting lavaliered mean you'll get married?
Well, not necessarily. Because even if while at the time of getting lavaliered the couple believes they will get married, it doesn't mean that life won't perhaps get in the way and create obstacles from happening. Just like how getting engaged doesn't guarantee a marriage down the line, getting lavaliered doesn't either. But it should be something you're seriously considering.
"If you ain't gonna marry her, don't lavalier her," a member of Sigma Alpha Mu who goes by the username Lrrlrr said on Reddit. I think it's important to note that the tradition of lavaliering most commonly occurs when a fraternity brother presents the necklace with his letters to his sorority girlfriend. This isn't to say that queer couples cannot engage in the process, but traditionally, it has been done with heterosexual relationships. "Also from what I've heard, tradition is if you break up with a girl after lavaliering, you have to swallow the lavalier or something."
Sounds safe. Anyway, here are some other stories from people who have been lavaliered and what happened afterwards.
Getting Married? Maybe Not
"When I was lavaliered, the relationship was serious," Jordan*, 25, told Elite Daily. "He had moved home and was looking for work in New York and the assumption was that we’d move in together when he returned."
"I thought it would be fun, since most girls at [New York University] don’t get lavaliered or engaged while in university."
While her then-boyfriend originally wasn't thrilled about the idea due to the level of commitment lavaliering entails, he eventually decided to lavalier Jordan.
"I was mostly seeing it as a fun way to be involved with Greek life and my sisters and solidify our relationship," she said. "He came to visit for my birthday and gave me a necklace with his fraternity letters on it as a gift. It was very sweet."
While Jordan and her ex broke up, she still has her lavalier necklace.
"It was a really good relationship and it was really special to have a commitment like that, so I still treasure it," she said.
But It Could Be A Nice Memory To Look Back On
"I was lavaliered when I was in college," said StephInPa on WeddingBee, a wedding discussion board. "It was my junior year. It happened in his fraternity house and when I finally opened my eyes (they had kidnapped me and [drove] me around campus blindfolded so I had no clue where I was going) all of his brothers and my sisters where in a big circle around us. Candles were lit, brothers on knees with roses… I’m talking it was the best lavalier ever."
She and her then-boyfriend broke up that summer, though.
It Can Lead To An Engagement
"My (now) fiancé lavaliered me the end of my senior year," said LittleGrayKitten on WeddingBee. "We had been dating since my sophomore year and I watched countless sisters get candle passes [a sorority ritual ceremony when a sister gets engaged] [...] and I was obviously happy for my sisters, but secretly so jealous!"
So if you do get lavaliered, or witness a candle passing ceremony in your sorority, don't start wedding planning right away for you or your sister. Be supportive and happy for the milestone in the relationship, but understand that a marriage isn't necessarily guaranteed.
*Name has been changed at the source's request due to privacy.
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