If and when you choose to have sex, the decision is entirely yours. Whether you want to wait until marriage, or you want to have sex with whoever, whenever, as many times as you want, or if you never want to have sex, period, there is no wrong answer. There's no specific rule you should follow in regards to when to take that step. Some people will have sex as soon as they feel ready to, while others will hold off until they've said "I do." Ciara and Russell Wilson went the latter route, and Ciara's quote about abstaining from sex before marriage in her new InStyle cover interview revealed just how difficult it was for her and her hubby to wait.
Ciara and Wilson first sparked relationship rumors in early 2015, a year after her messy split from ex-fiancé and rapper, Future. At the White House State Dinner for Japan in April 2015, Ciara and Wilson confirmed the rumors when they showed up to the dinner together, PEOPLE reports. Shortly after the dinner, the couple opened up about how they've decided to abstain from sex over the course of their relationship. In a Q&A with Pastor Miles McPherson of The Rock Church San Diego, Wilson talked about how he felt like God spoke to him about Ciara. "God spoke to me and said, 'I need you to lead her,'" he said. "And I was like, 'Really? Right now?' He goes 'No, I want you and need you to lead her.'" And so they decided to abstain from sex.
The following March, on a trip to the Seychelles, Wilson proposed to Ciara, and four months later, they got married in England. In April 2017, they welcomed their first child together.
Since the beginning of their relationship, both Ciara and Wilson have been outspoken about their relationship, how happy they are, and how they did, indeed, struggle with their celibacy pact. "That took a lot of prayer," Ciara said in the InStyle interview. "It was hard. I can’t lie." And I'm not totally surprised. Wilson and Ciara have seemed so into each other since day one. Before they got married, Ciara got super real with Cosmopolitan about what it was like to abstain. "I’m human, so it is not easy, especially when I look at him, and I think he is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen — that I’ve ever laid my eyes on, to be honest," she told the publication. "I’m like, 'Look the other way! Look the other way!'"
But abstaining from sex wasn't all bad. She told Access Hollywood in 2015 that they were enjoying their time with each other and waiting was a pretty natural thing. "It was an organic thing for him, and I think he was just being honest about where we are," she said, E! News reports. "It's cool when you get to build a foundation with someone on how much you care for each other and really know each other's personalities, so it's really fun."
In another cover interview for Cosmopolitan South Africa's February 2017 issue, Ciara said, "I have to give credit to my husband for sharing those views. It's awesome how it all worked out. We women think with our hearts and with our minds. When we see a guy, we envision what he's like and whether this could be something special. Guys see us from an exterior point of view — that's something I learned along the way as a woman... You shouldn't feel like you have to give your body away to get someone to like you."
So, if choosing to abstain from sex until marriage isn't for you, fret not! It doesn't have to be. But, if on the other hand, you are trying to wait until marriage, look no further than Ciara and Wilson as proof that it all works out in the end.