Can You Be In Love With Two People At Once? Experts Say It's Possible
Falling in love is an amazing feeling that has the potential to completely change someone's life. All of the excitement of the initial honeymoon phase is enough to make most people high on life for months, and in some cases, even longer. However, for some of us, the thought of experiencing this emotional eruption with more than one person at a time might sound impossible. That said, many modern relationship models are challenging this notion. So, can you be in love with two people at once? Well, the belief that romantic love can only be felt for one person because of it's all-consuming and obsessive nature is still prevalent. But, experts say that sharing your heart isn't out of the question.
There is no one-size-fits-all way to experience romantic love, which means that loving two people at the same time is possible, according to NYC-based relationship expert, Susan Winter, and host of the @SexWithDrJess podcast, Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D. "Yes [it's possible], but the way in which you'd love each person is different," Winter tells Elite Daily. When it comes to being in love with more than one person, Dr. Jess explains that it's not much different from platonically loving multiple people. "Just as you can simultaneously care for multiple friends, parents, children and other folks in your life, you can also care for more than one intimate partner," Dr. Jess tells Elite Daily.
Although loving two people can be confusing, for those who are open to "non-traditional" relationship dynamics like polyamory, it's definitely possible to have loving relationships with multiple people simultaneously. If you're feeling a strong romantic connection with two people, it could be time to ask yourself whether traditional monogamy is giving you everything you need. "Feelings of attachment are not inherently exclusive," says Dr. Jess. "You don’t necessarily love someone less because you also love someone else. This can be a difficult (and upsetting) perspective in a world that touts the monogamous relationship as the ultimate form of romantic and sexual love, but from a practical and chemical perspective, loving multiple partners is desirable for many people." If trying out non-monogamy is something you're interested in, being honest with the people you're romantically involved with is extremely important, explains Dr. Jess.
On the other hand, if a monogamous relationship is ultimately what you want, then you'll need to decide which relationship (if either) you want to move forward with. "There's a cautionary tale to loving two people at the same time," warns Winter. "If you don't make a decision, you'll lose them both." According to Dr. Jess, if you find yourself immensely struggling to let one partner go and commit to the other, then this may be another signal that seeking out partners who are open to non-monogamy could be right for you.
Ultimately, even though experiencing passionate love for two people is possible, not everyone is open to sharing their partner with someone else. In the end, the most important thing is to accept your individual needs and decide what type of relationship you want to pursue. The good news is, you can totally change your mind and experiment with different love models until you find one that works for you and your partner(s).