From time to time, I think everyone in a relationship wonders what it might be like to take a break. You don't want to lose your partner, but for various reasons, you wish you could just hit the pause button, take a little time apart, but then get back together. But could something like that even work? Can a relationship recover from a break, or can time apart really make your relationship stronger than it was before? If this is something you're considering, but are afraid of what it will mean for your current romance, you have two options: Pull the trigger and see what happens, or listen to to the stories of other people who took that leap to see if ultimately taking a timeout was worth it.
While you may not have any immediate friends or family who have gone through a relationship break, there's always Reddit. A Redditor whose partner was asking to take a break reached out to the online community for advice. They asked folks who had chosen to take some time apart from their partners if the experience ultimately enhanced the relationship, or if it ruined it. Their answers were pretty surprising, TBH. So, if you're considering taking a break, you'll want to know what they had to say.
It can also help you realize you’re not with the right person.
A break during a previous relationship helped me tremendously...it allowed me to realize that I wasn't happy in the relationship at all, but was rather just afraid of being alone. The month we were apart gave me a chance to realize what kind of relationship I actually deserved, and now I am with a new boyfriend who is indescribably amazing (:
I thought it did for awhile, but after a phone call breakup a few months later, (come on we aren't 13) I realized that the initial break should've just stayed a breakup. We were both in pretty bad places in our lives during our entire relationship (on break or together) and it ended for the better. For some, it does work. But I know that if a significant other ever tells me "Let's take a break" I will just break it off then.
We actually didn't decide on a break, we just broke up but kept in touch. We both missed each other horribly and both worked on the stuff that ebded things in the first place, got together again and we've been happy since. But yeah 90% of the time, a break dooms the relationship, because it usually means that the person who wants the break wants to f*** someone else without letting the safe person go, while not being wrecked with the guilt that comes with cheating.
It helps the person wanting the break to cheat with whoever they've had their eye on without the bother of actually breaking up with their current SO and without the guilt of cheating.
I know a married couple who took several breaks and say the same thing about it. Anger can make people do really stupid things. They've been happily married a long time, but are still saddled with some long term consequences they'd rather have avoided. STI putting wife at risk of cervical cancer. She's carefully monitored since she's had pre-cancerous lesions. Husband claims responsibility and regrets his recklessness. Their breaks were usually taken with some level of anger, but the distance usually helped them find clarity.
Ultimately, the decision on whether or not to take a break in your relationship really depends on the reasons and the intention. But the real takeaway here is that it doesn’t automatically mean something catastrophic about the relationship. Breaks can be really clarifying if you’re in a situation where you’re unsure about your partner. So if that’s something you feel like you need, that's OK. In the end, it may even make your bond stronger.
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