Can People Fall Back In Love? One Expert Says It's Not Impossible
If you've ever been in love, you know the inexplicable feeling of excitement and joy that comes with it. It's thrilling, even if it doesn't last forever. As Alfred Lord Tennyson once said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." But if love is so powerful, then can people fall back in love after falling out of it? According to one expert, it's possible, but it's a little bit more complicated than just "falling" in and out.
"It is natural for relationships to shift in intensity and connection," relationship and wellness coach Shula Melamed tells Elite Daily. "Sometimes the feeling of 'falling out of love' could be a byproduct of the people in the relationship not taking the time, care or effort to maintain the overall health of the relationship." So, "when people 'fall back in love' they are choosing to go back in and recognize 'love' is a verb, an active process of making decisions to co-create the experience," Melamed explains. It's all about the choice you make to work on your relationship, if that's what you want.
If you and your significant other ended your relationship, that doesn't necessarily mean you're never going to get back together or that the feelings you have for each other just disappear. That love can "come back," but maybe that's because it never really left, and you've been able to come to a mutual understanding of what needs to happen for you both to make it work. "Usually when people fall back in love there are a series of events, considerations, or shifts in their relationship that need to be considered," Melamed says. A lot might have changed since you were first together, and hopefully, you've both grown significantly as individuals. There might not be as many fun, fluttery butterflies the second time around, but there will be a deeper meaning to your connection, Melamed continues.
"The love you find yourself falling into will likely be different and perhaps be a richer experience given what you have gone through to reconnect," she says. "You know what it is like to lose the love so, you may build better habits around connecting and maintaining love." Honestly, falling back in love sounds pretty magical. It means you and your partner have spent time apart, evolved, and made the choice to come back together and try again.
"Once you love someone, unless your respect for them is destroyed, you can always love them again," Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, previously told Elite Daily. "This is the person who knows your hopes, dreams, and secrets. You had a bond that is easy to reestablish. Why do you think some people are always threatened by their partner's ex? You've got a hold on them and vice-versa."
Falling back in love isn't impossible when you've had time to reflect and you're both on the same page. As the experts say, you just have to be willing to work for it. Remember: Love is a verb, so don't be afraid to go on and get yours.