Telling your partner you love them is a pretty big step in any relationship. While it may seem totally romantic to get caught up in the moment and say it as soon as you start to feel the love juices flowing, exercising some restraint and giving yourself a bit of time to examine your feelings will make it that much sweeter. That's mostly because deciding to tell your partner you love them is inevitably going to change things in your relationship. Speak too soon, and it could change things for the worse, but time it right, and it will likely take your commitment to the next level.
If you're wondering who should be the one to drop the bomb first, there, of course, is no right answer. It's up to either of you to tell the other you love them when you're sure of your own feelings, and you can sense that your partner is pretty sure of theirs, too. Let me repeat that: Trying your best to be sure of your own feelings and to be sure you and your partner are on the same page is key. If you can manage it, before you get into "I love you" territory, it never hurts to ask yourself these questions to help get your thoughts in order.
1. What Makes This Different From Other Times I May Have Thought It Was Love?
I think it's safe to assume that we've all been in one situation or another when we were so sure we were head-over-heels in love, only to realize later down the line that this wasn't the case. Before saying "I love you" to someone new, it's always a good idea to spend some time thinking about the ways in which this love is different from past love you thought you experienced. If you find yourself drawing a blank, you may need to give it a bit more time.
2. Is Our Relationship Developed Enough To Handle The Expectations Associated With Love?
While being in love is obviously a good thing, expressing your feelings basically means that you're making a huge commitment of time and care in your relationship. Before sharing your feelings, make sure that you are in a good place where you can give yourself to your partner fully. Telling someone you love them only to realize later that you aren't ready or willing to act like it will definitely not end well.
3. How Will I Feel If They Aren't Ready To Say It Back?
Expressing your feelings for someone means putting yourself in a super vulnerable position. There's really no guarantee that your partner will say it back. If you're thinking about biting the bullet, while there's no need to expect the worst, talking yourself through how you would respond if your partner just isn't ready to return the sentiment is a good safeguard to avoid being totally disappointed. If the thought of them not reciprocating would be devastating to you, then it may be best to hold off for a bit.
4. Is It Possible That Your Feelings Are More Along The Lines Of Infatuation?
Lust can sometimes feel so unbelievably like love that it's alarming. Before you up the ante, make sure that you are actually in love with this person. If you are, then you should easily be able to think of several tangible things you love about them and their personality, and why. These things should be completely unrelated to the surface level stuff (like looks and material things).
5. Have I Been 100 Percent Honest With This Person?
Honesty and trust are the two most important aspects of a truly loving relationship. If there are things you've kept from your bae, then this could be a sign that honesty and trust aren't fully there. That's not to say that those things can't be improved upon, but saying "I love you" while simultaneously hiding things might mean that you're not being 100 percent honest with yourself either.
Being in love really is like a drug, and while the initial rush is likely to wane over time, being able to look back on the moment when you finally made your feelings for each other known is super special. So much so, that it definitely deserves some forethought.
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