I love going to restaurants by myself and having a drink or a bite at the bar — yes, all alone. I find it emboldening and relaxing, and while I sip my drink, I try my very hardest to keep my phone in my bag and either read a book or people-watch. One thing I always notice with couples on dates is that one person usually has their phone out on the table. Maybe it's face-down, maybe it's face-up, but it's out and it's distracting. Life is busy and it can be really tough to focus on one thing at a time and tune all the other noise out. But how can you tell if you are too distracted around your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis?
Since the world is full of distractions and realistically you can’t give your partner 100 percent of your attention all the time, maybe there's a sweet spot between being present and being in your head. I spoke to Dr. Grant Hilary Brenner, co-founder of Neighborhood Psychiatry, about how distraction could affect your relationship and how to find balance as a couple. Brenner says, "If there is noticeable distraction, it's worth setting aside time to talk through it. It also depends on the individual's baseline tendency to be distracted. Everyone can be distracted, and it can fluctuate depending on factors like how well they slept, the last time they ate, and whether there are other important thoughts on their mind, or distractions in the environment."
It's completely normal to be distracted from time to time, but being consistently distracted might negatively affect your relationship. Brenner suggests you ask yourself, "Are you preoccupied with problems outside of the relationship, for example family, financial or work issues, and checking out rather than checking in with your partner?" Here are three common indicators that can tell you if you're too distracted around your boyfriend or girlfriend.