After Moving In Together, Watch Out For These 4 Red Flags
If you and your partner are totally in love and ready to take the next step in your relationship, it's probably because you're on the same page about most things. Still, after moving in together, it's totally natural for some unforeseen challenges to arise. You never know what it's like to truly live together until you do. Whether your partner is unable to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, or if they're always eating all the groceries but never going food shopping, sometimes domestic bliss means feeling domestic ballistic.
"When you move in with someone, a certain amount of tension is to be expected," Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching tells Elite Daily. "As you’re getting to know one another’s boundaries under the new parameters of living together, you may learn things about your partner you didn’t realize before. It gives you the opportunity to witness their habits and sometimes those habits can be triggering."
According to Martinez, after making the joint-move, partners may have trouble really feeling at home or may feel like their space is being invaded. Although taking this step can be exciting, Martinez shares that it's completely common for the transition to be a little rocky. Here are four things to look out for after you move in with your partner.
1. Inability To Compromise
Every relationship demands its share of compromises. Whether you're choosing a bedspread or picking what side to make with dinner, it's important that you and you boo are able to talk things out.
"Inability to compromise early in the relationship on small things signifies bigger conflicts down the road," Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, tells Elite Daily. "If you can’t agree which way the toilet paper roll should hang, how will you handle major life decisions together?"
If every choice you make turns into a heated debate, or if you can't seem to find the happy medium on anything, it may be time to check in with your partner. You certainly don't have to agree on everything all the time, but you deserve to feel relaxed and supported in your own home.
2. Money Miscommunication
Money is enough to stress anyone out, let alone a couple that's first moving in together. If you and your boo haven't talked about finances yet, or if you're not on the same page about bills, conflict may arise later on in your relationship.
"One of the things to keep a close eye on is how you manage your finances," Martinez says. "Having different ideas about saving money or day-to-day necessities can put a huge strain on your relationship."
Of course, every relationship is different, and if you and your partner have found an arrangement that works for you, that's all that matters. Still, being transparent about finances can help keep everyone on the same page.
3. The Blame Game
If you like your house to be Monica Geller clean, you may have a lot to say about your partner's messy room. Of course, if you and your SO find yourselves blaming things on each other or criticizing each other's styles, it may be time to redirect the conversation.
"Instead of saying 'You need to make the bed,' invite them into the conversation. 'Coming home to a made bed helps me relax and forget the stress of work. Do you think we could take turns making it?'" Hoffman suggests. "That way you’ve explained how it impacts your life, how it could impact yours, and offered a suggestion on how you can split the responsibility fairly."
If you find that every dirty dish or empty milk carton comes down to a blame game, it may be time to talk. According to Hoffman, framing your words around your needs and preferences can help you and your boo get on the same page.
4. Not Prioritizing Your Relationship
If you and your boo both love to order in and watch movies (who doesn't?), living together and chilling out every night may be a cozy dream you don't have to ever wakeup from. Yet, if you noticed that you've started to loose sight of the romance, or you've stopped taking care of yourself, it may be time to check in.
"If you aren’t prioritizing one another or [you're] allowing yourself to get too comfortable, it can make you feel disconnected," Martinez says. "It can also lead to feelings of confusions, insecurity, fear, and a whole host of emotions that can get worse in the long run."
Martinez shares that it's important to keep having fun and going out even after you've moved in together. Whether you plan a monthly date night or a day trip to the free museum — keeping the romance alive can help you both feel special.
If you and your boo are having some house-related stress, you don't need to worry. "Incompatible living styles aren’t a reason to end the relationship," Hoffman says. "They are an opportunity to get to know your partner and their quirks, and to examine your own patterns to figure out how to live together harmoniously." Transitioning into a shared living space can be a lot, but with enough open communication and support, home really can be where the heart is.