Dry spells can happen for many reasons. You just got out of a long-term relationship and you don't want to put yourself back out there, you're not lucking out on the dating scene, or you simply... don't want to have sex for the time being. There are also reasons related to trauma that people may be avoiding having sex, which is definitely understandable and OK. Whatever your reason is for having a dry spell, if or when you want to have sex again, there may be some physical side effects due to that sex break. No matter how long you're taking a breather from sex, there may be things your body has to get used to again when you get back to doing it. After a dry spell, it's completely normal for your body to readjust to having sex with some minor side effects.
I spoke to Mary Jane Minkin, MD, Clinical Professor of OB/GYN at Yale University and Founder of MadameOvary.com, about symptoms people with vaginas can feel when having sex again after a dry spell, and how to address those issues for a more comfortable and fun sexual experience. Here are her tips and advice.
Minkin says that if you haven't had sex in a long time, you could be dryer than normal during sex. "I think it is anxiety with an attendant lack of lubrication — but it amounts to dryness," Minkin tells Elite Daily.
"If you know you are getting involved in a relationship and are concerned you are dry," Minkin suggests that you try a vaginal moisturizer to get moisture levels back to normal. Minkin recommends the brand Replens, which you can pick up at your local pharmacy, and she says to use two to three times a week to decrease dryness.
If the vaginal moisturizer doesn't work, Minkin suggests using a vaginal dilator — a "simple cylinder shaped rubber [object] designed to help gently stretch the vagina." She recommends dilators from the brand Soul Source. The site says you should consult with a medical professional or therapist before use.
"At the time of intercourse, it will also be helpful to introduce a silicone lubricant such as Replens Silky Smooth to increase comfort," says Minkin.
"Bleeding after the first episode of sex after a long time is not uncommon — and do not panic," says Minkin. "Of course, if it persists (you are continuing to have sex and you are bleeding), do consult with your gynecological care provider."
So don't let that little bit of spotting make you think anything is way off. If you see some bleeding happen, temporarily stop if it's painful, or continue on, maybe trying another position to see if the bleeding stops.
"If someone hasn't been sexually active for a long time, she may be anxious about how sex will feel," Minkin says.
Minkin thinks the Fiera, a hand-held suction device that helps increase local pelvic blood flow, could also be beneficial for people experiencing a dry spell. It also helps with more moisture in the vagina, and amping up sex drives if you're feeling like that's lacking.
The Fiera does come with a heavy price tag, though, and while developed by OB/GYNs, it's for sure an investment starting at $199.
But, a device like this can help you relax before having sex again, making your body ease back into the experience — and of course, there are always sex toys.
No matter how long you're celibate, I hope whenever you do have sex with a partner again, it's as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.
