Have you been seeing someone new? Or dating for a while? At any step of the dating process, you might find yourself having doubts. If you're nervous about where the relationship is going and you want to talk to your partner about it, it can be tricky to figure out how to bring it up. Fear not, though — I've compiled some texts to send when you're getting cold feet. Maybe you're engaged and aren't sure you want to go through with the wedding or perhaps you're nervous about a different step in the process. Regardless, these texts can serve as a template or hint for how to broach a sticky subject in a caring way.
I once had cold feet about someone I was seriously dating. The relationship kept moving just slightly faster than I wanted. I liked casual dating, but he pushed me to become his girlfriend a little too soon. And then I liked being exclusive, but I wasn't yet ready to meet his family. Over time, I realized he wasn't the right person for me, and I had to talk to him. I let him know I was having cold feet over text before the conversation about it so he was ready. While it's never easy to tell someone your doubts, I felt like it was a good way to ease into a longer talk, and you might as well.
Read on to find nine texts to send when you're getting cold feet and want them to know.
1. "Hey, I'm Having Some Doubts, Can We Talk?"
Having cold feet means there's something you're doubting, and communicating about those thoughts can be really useful. Send this text to prep them for the important conversation.
2. "I Think This Might Be Moving A Bit Too Fast"
Sometimes relationships move faster than you'd like. Your connection is not doomed if you feel like it's going too quickly, but consider opening up an honest conversation with your partner.
3. "I'm A Little Worried About Something You Said Earlier"
Maybe the person you're seeing said something earlier that made you feel like the relationship was more serious than you wanted. If so, bringing up the specific quote can help them understand where you're coming from and allow you both to communicate clearly.
4. "I Don't Know If I Can Commit"
It's OK to not be ready to commit, no matter where you are in the dating process. Let your partner know this, and open up a dialogue between the two of you about where you see your connection headed.
5. "It's Not Your Fault, But I..."
If your partner (or whomever you're seeing) hasn't done anything to hurt or offend you you, you can make clear that your cold feet aren't in response to something specific. Then, you can explain exactly what's bothering you, and ask them how they feel about the relationship, too.
6. "Could We Talk About Taking A Break?"
If you're nervous about the relationship and want some breathing space, let them know you may need a little break. Asking if you can talk could be helpful, because they might have questions that they need to articulate as well. There's never anything wrong with taking some time and space for yourself — just check in with your partner to make sure you're on the same page.
7. "I Want To Slow This Down"
If you're having cold feet and you feel like things are moving too fast, it's totally fine to take it back a notch. Maybe you're not ready to be engaged, or maybe you want to see them just a few times per week instead of every night, and that's completely OK.
8. "I Just Want You To Know That I'm Having Cold Feet"
This is a great text to send if you don't want them to take any specific action but you do want them to be aware that you've been feeling a little off. This way, the lines of communication are open if you ever need to talk about your anxieties about the relationship.
9. "I Don't Know Where I See This Going"
This isn't a breakup text — it's just an acknowledgment that you're not positive the relationship will get serious, and it's completely fine to feel that way. Send them this text to open up a conversation about where you see your future headed. By communicating about each other's needs and boundaries, you'll be able to build a relationship (or friendship) rooted in respect.
Having cold feet doesn't mean you have to break up and it doesn't mean there's necessarily something wrong with your relationship. Still, it can be really helpful to let your partner know how you're feeling, and these texts can help open the door to a healthy conversation. And don't worry: If your partner is the right person for you, you'll find a way to work through these doubts together. And if not, you'll find someone else who makes your feet extremely warm.