Whether you've been thinking about walking away from your relationship for a while or you just realized you were meant to be with someone else, ending a long-term commitment to someone is difficult. And in the heat of all the stress and confusion, knowing some empowering mantras to recite after calling off an engagement can help you feel strong and stable as you start to move forward.
No matter who you are, if you realize that you're not ready to get married, it's always OK to take a step back to re-evaluate. At any stage of a romantic relationship, it's important to listen to your heart and do what's right for you. From taking some time away from your partner to discussing what you want your future to look like, your life is yours, and you get to decide the actions you take moving forward. While it may initially feel intimidating to take the next steps, if you don't want to get married, following your truth can help you live a fuller and happier life.
If you've recently broken off your engagement and you're feeling a little overwhelmed, these nine mantras can help you find clarity as you move on.
1. I'm doing what's right for me in this moment.
If you start second-guessing yourself or you're wondering if you did something wrong, remember that you are doing what's right for you at this very moment. Things may change in the future, and if that happens, you'll be ready for it. Prioritizing your mental health and happiness can be a really good thing.
2. It's OK if someone doesn't understand why I'm doing this.
You don't need to validate or justify your choices to your ex-fiancé's sister's boyfriend, your old college roommate, or whoever the heck else. You know what's right for you, and that's all that matters. Not everyone is going to understand your actions, and honestly, not everyone needs to.
3. I will not feel ashamed for following my heart.
While it may feel painful in the moment, taking steps to live your truth is honestly something to celebrate. This isn't anyone's "fault," and you don't need to blame yourself for calling it off. You never need to feel ashamed about doing what's right for you.
4. I will only share what I feel comfortable sharing.
People may have a million questions about what you're doing and why you're doing it. Though you may want to discuss some of your feelings or actions with your loved ones, you certainly don't owe anyone an explanation. No one is entitled to hearing all the details of your personal life. You can decide how much you want to share with whom, and how you go about sharing.
5. I will grow as I go.
You don't know all the answers and you don't need to know all the answers. You will figure it out as you go along. You will grow through this whole process. And you will listen to your intuition and do what feels right for you.
6. Healing looks different for everyone.
You get to process and heal in your own way and on your own timeline. Whether you need to get away for a while or want to spend time with friends and family, you get to decide what moving on looks like and how it happens. Healing looks different for everyone, and you get to follow your own heart.
7. I'm proud of myself for speaking my truth.
Following your heart and living your truth doesn't make you a "bad person." It makes you a brave person, and you should be proud of yourself for being true to who you are.
8. I deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
You deserve to feel happy, loved, and supported. You deserve to have the types of relationships that you want to be in. And in time, you will find everything that you're looking for.
9. It's going to be OK.
You are going to survive, you are going to get through it, and you are going to figure out what the best next steps are for you. While it may sound simple, reminding yourself that you are going to be OK can be incredibly affirming.