8 Things That Keep You From Being Happy In Your Friendships In Your 20s
When you first started making friends, you knew that friendships are relationships you're meant to keep close to heart. It didn't matter how or where you met, because once you clicked, side-by-side was where you knew you needed to be. But all of the rainbows and butterflies aside, what about when a friendship feels like it's slowly fading out? How can you pinpoint the specific things that keep you from being happy in your friendships in your 20s, and how to fix them?
First, you need to make a mental list of the times your friendship used to have that spark, and where it could use some work now. Maybe your connection with your hometown friends doesn't seem as strong because you see them a little too much, or maybe you're losing touch with your college besties because you live long-distance.
Let's be clear, though, that temporary unhappiness doesn't mean you should just uproot an entire friendship. Maintaining the strong foundation of any type of relationship takes work, and some people tend to naturally grow apart. That's OK. The people who are meant to be in your world for the long run will be.
Your 20s is such a transitional time, that it's normal if you feel like your friendships could use a little maintenance. Sit down and really think about it, because if you're unhappy, it may have something to do with these eight things.
1. Your Friend Always Ditches You Because They're Dating Someone New
Of course, you're happy for your friend when they've got a major case of the heart eyes. Why wouldn't you be? It only sucks when they give all of their attention to that relationship, and drop the ball on your friendship. A simple chat and discussion should hopefully reveal to your friend why the situation is so frustrating.
2. Your Friend Is Still About The Drama Life, And You're Not
Drama is so exhausting, and unfortunately, it didn't end back in high school. When your friend isn't as done with the drama life as you are, it can be difficult connecting with them. Sometimes, people don't realize they're entertaining drama until someone brings it to their attention.
3. Your Friends Only Want You To Be Interested In What They're Interested In
You have a right to your own passions and interests. Your friend group should never pressure you into only being interested in what they're interested in. Honestly, it should be your differences that make you such a dynamic group of gems. You should be able to stay true to what you like, and still feel close to your friends.
4. Your Friends Want To Go Out All Of The Time, And You Just Want To Chill
Wanting to chill after a long work week isn't a bad thing. Yeah, you're young, but a night on the couch streaming Netflix can still be an ideal night for you. If your friends always want to go out to the bars and clubs without any chill period in between, bring it up to them. I'm sure they'll understand that you guys don't have to be out and about on the regular.
5. You Feel Like You Can't Be Yourself Around Them
Maybe your perspective on life has started to change. It's all part of self-growth and self-discovery. If you feel like these changes can't be voiced or discussed with your friends, that's going to keep you unhappy. Your real friends will never try to change the new you, so just be open about what you're going through.
6. It Seems Like You Guys Always Do The Same Old Thing
A solid routine might be what you rely on in your 20s to feel like you have your ducks in a row. When it comes to your friendships, though, doing the same thing all of the time can get real old, real quick. You want to feel like you could conquer the world with your friends, one spontaneous adventure at a time. You may need to open their eyes to the exciting things you guys are capable of doing together.
7. You Feel Like You're Always The One To Initiate Plans
If there's anything you learn in your 20s, it's that life can get pretty hectic. Maintaining a balance between work and friends isn't only challenging for you, but it can also be for your girls. Before you think you're the only one putting effort into hanging out, check in with them. They might feel the same way.
8. It Seems Like Your Secrets Aren't Being Kept Private
Do you ever feel like you told one friend something in confidence, and all of a sudden, that very thing comes out of another friend's mouth? It's frustrating AF. You need to be able to trust your friends, and keeping secrets is a major factor. Having a one-on-one convo about privacy and discretion should hopefully do the trick.
Don't think you have to immediately cut ties with your friends because of a few tweaks. You guys are as tight as knots, and even those need re-tightening at times.