I used to think that nothing was worse than the Post-It breakup message Carrie got from Berger on Sex and the City. But that was probably just because I'd never experienced a text message breakup before. I mean, when Berger told Carrie, "I'm sorry, I can't, don't hate me," he at least took the time to handwrite the message. With text breakups, you don't have anything tangible to hold onto — even if that something is as insubstantial as a Post-It. If you think you've seen the worst examples of breakup texts, I've got some stories for you that just might match them.
My own experience with a breakup text was actually one of the best things that could have happened to me. After all, unlike in-person breakups, a breakup text usually doesn't mince words. Rather than having a painful, circuitous convo, breaking up via text can actually be a lot more efficient and provide much more closure. The exception, of course, is a text from an ex that is just downright brutal. Reddit users took to an AskWomen thread and an AskReddit thread to discuss their worst text breakup stories, and Berger's Post-It note isn't looking so bad compared to these.
This Poor Planning
[We] dated for about four months [and had a] really intense connection, texting everyday and talking on the phone usually twice a week. But physically, things are going slowly. One night I admit to him that I'm a virgin, and a few weeks later we have sex. The next day I leave on a long-weekend vacation and he knows I like my space, so I don't hear from him. We have set plans for when I return, so no worries. I return home and text him that I'm back. A day later I get a brief breakup text: 'It's not working out. Sorry about the bad timing.' What was the bad timing? Well, aside from having my first-time sex with me four days prior, it was my birthday.
These 'Let's Stay Friends' Texts
One guy broke up with me after he'd been cheating on me for six months. He took me to a restaurant to try and 'mend' the relationship. I was hospitalized with food poisoning a day later. The day after that I woke up at 6 a.m. — still in this hospital — to a text that said, 'I just don't want to be your boyfriend.' He then called himself my 'best friend' and phoned me at 6 p.m. that night to see how I was 'coping' with the break up.
... Another spent the day with me [and] was really lovely and sweet. [He} talked about how much he enjoyed spending time with me. 20 minutes after he left, he texted me, 'Being your boyfriend is too weird. We have too much history as friends.'
Thankfully I'm now in a relationship with someone who doesn't have the emotional age of a 16-year-old.
This Out-Of-The-Blue Breakup
One day, [my ex] was at my place and we were watching TV and having a good time. She sent me a text later that night after she went home and said she loved me. The next day, I didn't hear from her at all. She didn't pick up the phone (I only called once) or respond to any texts.
This went on for a few days until she finally responded by text and said she didn't know if she wanted to be in a relationship right now. That was it. Her way of breaking up was to just forget we ever met. I would have been happy with at least a text stating it was over instead of a week of being ignored as a way to break up. I still don't know what happened that she changed so quick on her stance with us. Oh well.
This Unsatisfying Separation
We've only been dating for about three months and only see each other a couple times a week, as she lives an hour away and our schedules clash. Anyway, I came down with what I thought was a bad cold, but the other day, I found myself unable to breathe and was getting scared when my home breathing treatments weren't working (I have asthma). So I went to the ER on Tuesday and I was admitted later that afternoon with a lung infection. She works long hours, so I waited until that evening to tell [her]. We talked all of five minutes before she went to bed. I then didn't hear anything from all day yesterday (I was stuck in the hospital on Halloween no less!) so I was getting worried. Finally she answered my text this morning and proceeded to tell me this wasn't going to work out and broke up with me.
This Text & Run
We were constantly breaking up and getting back together for the three years we dated. The worst breakup was when he texted me unexpectedly, 'I can't do this anymore.' I called him and he wouldn't pick up the phone, so I drove over to his place. That's when I realized he had packed up all his stuff and started the thousand-mile drive back to our home state when he texted me.
These Seriously Mixed Messages
I had been dating this girl for a while and all was well. We had planned a trip out of town for a big all-day concert. About a week before the trip, she stops responding to texts all day. I chalk it up to her being busy and try not to overthink it. I get a text from her the next day saying that she is not sure what to think anymore and needs some space. This is out of nowhere. I don't know what is going on and am crushed but decide that if she needs space I will give it to her.
She texts me the next day and asks how I am doing. I tell her that I am OK. She then invites me to a family gathering for her cousin who just came back from Germany. I am confused about the quick turnaround but gladly accept the invite. She introduces me to all her family (cousins, aunts and uncles, even grandparents). It went fine and as I leave she makes a big deal about giving me a kiss and how she will talk to me the next day.
Next day comes around, and she invites me to a party with all of her co-workers (she was leaving for a new job and it was a going away party), [and] I accept once again. I have met most of them before, so it wasn't too bad. But for all the ones I haven't met, she introduces me to as her boyfriend and is very touchy-feely the whole night.
We end up going on the trip. The concert was great, lots of good bands. I promised her I would take her shopping the next day, so we did that. I ended up spending a decent amount of money on her, thinking this would help show her how much I cared — dumb idea, I know. She then tells me how awesome it would be if we went a little out of the way on the way home to meet her stepsisters. I agree — seeing as I had already met all her other relatives, I see no problem with this. We go about two hours out of the way and meet them, have lunch, talk for a while, and end up heading back home late at night.
I go to work the next day and don't hear from her. I decide that she might still be needing some space and let her be. I get a text the next day saying that she feels like we have drifted apart and need to break up. I ask her how long she felt like this and she say for about a month. When I ask her why she would introduce me to her whole family when she was feeling this way, she said it is because I am the first guy they would approve of and she wanted them all off her back... I later find out that for the entire last month of our relationship she had been sleeping with her ex and had apparently told him that they would be getting back together as soon as we had gone on this trip and I had bought her the nice things she wanted.
This Double Dose of Deception
[My ex] she texted me and said she didn't want to see me anymore, but it was for personal reasons. Then later that night I found out she had been sleeping with my friend behind my back for about three weeks. Not a good night.
This Silver Lining
He informed me that he had cheated on me by having phone sex with another girl who we were friends with. I was such a dumbass at the time, convinced we were going to spend our lives together, so I bought every line of bullsh*t he fed me about how it was an 'impulsive mistake,' because I had gone to bed early that night and [thought] it would never happen again. So I didn't dump him like I should have. A week later, we had a nice phone conversation in the morning, and he told me how much he loved me and was grateful to have me. That afternoon he sent me a text telling me that he just 'wasn't feeling it anymore' and was 'getting bored.' I was devastated for a while but I got over it and was stronger because of it.
While you might have totally valid reasons for breaking up with someone through text (and there are actually cordial ways to do so), think carefully before you do it. It may be way easier for you to cut ties from a distance, but a breakup text can cause a lot more heartache than you realize.