7 Worst First Date Kiss Stories That'll Make You Squirm
Call me old-fashioned, but I definitely hold out for that Princess Diaries-style foot pop kiss every time I go on a first date with someone new. And, to be honest, sometimes I get the exact opposite of a foot-popping kiss. If you're in the same boat and have had some pretty bad kiss experiences, let me be the one to tell you that you are not alone. In fact, there's a whole Reddit thread dedicated to sharing stories about your worst first date kiss. If part of you doesn't believe me, that's OK. I have rounded up some pretty cringe-worthy kiss stories from friends, coworkers, and Reddit to prove that you're not alone in this.
When it comes to first dates, there are a lot of important factors to keep in mind. Whether you're fretting about your outfit, dinner reservations, or if your astrological signs will be compatible — there are a lot of valid concerns. And sometimes things definitely go awry, whether it's a lousy kiss or, you know, they end up being a Scorpio. The good news? Some of the people in these stories ended up getting married! So, one bad kiss isn't destined to ruin a good thing. And, if it's awful, you can leave that first date with the confidence that you never have to plan a second, because life is far too short for bad kissing.
When the two of you aren't on the same page
"I went on my first date with this girl in high school. She picked up me because I did not have my drivers license. We went to the mall and had dinner at her parents' house afterward. At the end of the date, I wanted to do the gentlemanly thing and give her a swift peck on the cheek. However, she had a very different idea on how to end the evening. My date intercepted my cheek-kiss attempt and went for a full-on French kiss. I pulled away quickly, very surprised at the sudden change of pace. She said, 'Well, that was weird. See you soon, I guess,' and quickly walked away. We reconciled on the following Monday during English class and promptly planned a second date. We were engaged five years later, married a year after that, and will have been together for nine years in January. So, I suppose it ended up OK."
- Josh, 27
When he tries to make germs sexy
"My worst first kiss was after a really lackluster dinner date. We had zero chemistry and the conversation was pretty awkward. I wanted to go home, but my date suggested we get gelato and eat it in a nearby park. I felt bad turning him down, so I agreed. In the park, he asked if he could try my gelato. He took a bite from my spoon and stuck the spoon back into the cup. Then he said, 'Now that my germs are in your food, they can be on your face, too.' He grabbed my face, pinned me against the park bench, and gave me an extremely slobbery kiss with tons of tongue."
— Hannah, 25
When your wingman crashes the makeout plane
Personally, we were on our way home from homecoming my sophomore year of high school and we had to to take my best friend of the time home. She continued to talk about how tonight would be the perfect opportunity and that we should definatly kiss. It made us both super awkward. It was not his first kiss and I was so nervous I missed his mouth. I then ran inside. That pretty much outlines how the rest of our physical relationship went- not well. Glad it is long over.
When you can't stop laughing
First kiss with my husband: We were in our mid 20s, he asked me if he could kiss me and I said yes. He leaned in and was like an inch away and I started giggling. I have a nervous laugh. He stops to let me compose myself and then kissed me when I was calm again.
When you do things a little bit out of order
Awkward but happy! Prior to my first boyfriend, my kissing track record hadn't been great. I had sex before I had my first kiss and when I eventually did end up kissing, it wasn't a priority. So meeting my boyfriend was a weird situation. He knew I had been with another person but I still had no idea how to throw the tongue in the situation. I was so shy and awakes around the subject it made it seem like I just didn't want to kiss him. I was embarrassed as hell. Eventually I told him why I was weird and he decided to teach me how to "properly" kiss. Laid on my bed for a hour, took so long because I could laugh a lot and got embarrassed too.The other day he remembered the story and told me he was very proud of my kissing skills. Happy gal I am.
When they bowl your date straight into the gutter
My first kiss with the most recent guy I went out with was pretty messy and awkward. First of all, we were in a bowling alley for our 2nd date with a bunch of younger kids near us. I was feeling the vibe that he wanted to make a move and he eventually did after all of our games. I wouldn't have minded the kiss if it were not for the fact that he really went in and he tried shoving his tongue in my mouth. I'm cool with making out but not in front of a bunch of kids in a bowling alley. Call me lame or whatever but that's not my thing. I instinctively pushed him away and just said I had to run to the bathroom. Needless to say, among many other reasons, there wasn't a 3rd date.
When your experience is particularly eye-opening
Not a first date/kiss, but first make out session with this guy, his eyes were open THE ENTIRE TIME (I peeked every now and then to check, then shut my eyes very quickly again in horror). that was also the last make out session with that guy
At the end of the day, bad kisses can be super uncomfortable, but it helps me to know that a lot of other people go through a similar experience. And, hey, even Princess Mia in Princes Diaries had her fair share of bad kisses until her foot finally popped.