Missionary sex typically scores pretty low on the vanilla-to-kink scales, which is not surprising considering that's how most of us probably lost our virginities. What is surprising, though, is that a lot of the sex scenes in this era's ~sexiest~ movie franchise, Fifty Shades, involve some version of this bedroom classic. All you need (besides a red room and a velvet-lined shelving unit for your butt plug collection) is a slightly updated playbook. You know, a list of creative twists on the missionary position. If it's good enough for Christian Grey, it's good enough for you.
Honestly, I'd bet on missionary sex every time because it's a low-risk, high-reward situation that doesn't require the acrobatic prowess that most other positions do. I mean, WTF is the crab-walk cowgirl, anyway? Too much effort, that's what.
Missionary sex isn't just a cult favorite because it's easy to execute. This position gets right to the point, literally. Sure, the person on top is totally in control of their own pleasure but they're also occupying some prime real estate as far as their partner's pleasure zones go. This position allows for full-on, body-to-body contact and is ideal for clitoral and G-spot stimulation for partners with vaginas. Basically, it's intimate and hot and you need to stop hating on it. Here are seven adjustments you can make to missionary sex to make sure it never goes out of style.
This simple move is pretty self-explanatory. The receiving partner lays face-up while the other mounts them from above — your standard missionary stuff made a hell of a lot better by placing a pillow behind the receiving partner's lower back. It's a minor geometric shift, really, that brings both partners closer together and intensifies the pressure of any physical contact. And you thought you'd never have use for acute angles once you left high school.
Missionary sex doesn't always have to be PIV. You and your partner can use a strap-on to have the missionary sex your parents never told you about. Trust me when I say, there's nothing vanilla about this power move.
With one partner on top, missionary sex is basically a gateway position to exploring the dynamics of dominance and submission. Kick things up a knot — sorry, notch — by adding some light bondage to your routine. Handcuffs are great but if you have a neck tie lying around, that'll do, too. Just ask Mr. Grey.
One of the reasons missionary sex feels so great is because there's literally no space between your and your partner's bodies — or is there? Slip a bullet vibrator or vibrating cock ring between you and your partner for a rockin' good time. You can thank me later.
Taking another page out of the Fifty Shades script, you and your partner can incorporate a spreader bar for added restraint. The bar is attached to the submissive partner's ankles, while the dominant partner maintains their full range of motion on top. To really heat things up, the dominant partner can raise the submissive partner's legs above their head.
Remember what I said about missionary sex opening you up to erogenous zones you didn't even know you add? Well, for this move, the receiving partner puts their legs on the penetrating partner's shoulders for some back-door action. Same concept, different route.
OK, I know that's not how the song goes but this isn't exactly how missionary sex goes, either. For this exciting twist, the receiving partner wraps their legs around the penetrating partner for better grip and deeper penetration. Physical pleasures aside, this move is pretty bad*ss because both partners clearly want to be in control. Who doesn't love a good power struggle?
I think if we're being honest here, we can all agree that the only thing that beats a classic is a fire remix. So here's to Missionary Sex Vol. 2.
